Face Pubes

Recently, David Axelrod made some kind of wager on television that if Obama lost a particular state, or maybe the election overall, he would then shave off his mustache.  Whatever dude.  Paint your balls pink and go fuck a football while you're at it.

You might think that this is a one-and-done type of story, just some bloviating by a campaign surrogate who gets paid to bloviate.  But wait, it gets better, enter. . .the American Mustache Institute. . .

. . .this is almost too dumb to report but. . .

"There are very few people in positions of power who are mustached Americans, so for he to even jest about removing his lip sweater is somewhat offensive to the entire American mustached community," he says.

Perlut also cautioned the senior advisor to review the Dead Sea Scrolls, a section of which he claims says every time a mustache is shaved, an angel dies and falls down to earth. Whispers was not able to confirm this to be true.

Seriously?  Lip sweater?

Oh just wait, the stupidity is paramount in this organization.  They have sponsored a bill for a tax deduction related to facial hair grooming.

America, my dear lovely America, what has happened to you?