Red rover, red rover

Send your big government pussy right over!

Normally, I'd say this is a bunch of bullshit, but in this case I completely agree with the state of New York, but I'd like to add a few things to this list of stuff they want to ban so that no one gets hurt ever never, ever ever again, amen!

Let's start with scissors and pencils and running through the house. Big Wheels, Lil' Red Wagons and the game of Twister. We should also ban walking down the street or riding on a school bus, karate practice, football, baseball, soccer, gymnastics, and blowing bubbles from your tear ducts. Chewing gum and eating hot dogs (you could choke on it), 3-D video games (epilepsy), Kool-Aid (diabetes), lighting farts (fire hazard). We should ban homemade soda bottle rockets, slingshots, magnifying glasses, home science kits, pick-up sticks, Lincoln logs, kites, Sit and Spins, bicycles, skateboards, go-karts, mini-motorcycles, Sea Monkeys and the old stick-string-box animal trap. And how could we forget the Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle with a compass in the stock!!!!

In fact, let's just ban all human activity. No, better yet, let's just fucking ban children. They are a goddamn nuisance anyways and all they do is run around and get hurt all the fucking time. Oh wait, we kinda sorta already HAVE banned them. 332,278 were banned in 2009 by Planned Parenthood alone. Thanks Planned Parenthood, just think of all the skinned knees and brusies you saved those children from.