Sunday, December 11, 2011

Ralph the Swimming Pig: The Cousin Kenny Chronicles (Vol. 13)



In San Marcos, Texas, there used to be a tourist attraction called Aquarena Springs that featured a swimming pig, named Ralph. I've never seen Ralph swim, but one day, many summers ago, while visiting my brother, I did sit in my car in the parking lot of Aquarena Springs for about 10 minutes, contemplating whether it was worth the $15 admission fee to see that pig swim. I decided against it because, as I figured it, a swimming pig was not all that amazing. If I'm not mistaken, every animal, insect, foul, reptile, etc, except for human beings, has the natural ability to swim to some degree. So, a swimming pig would not be all that remarkable. Rather, what would be remarkable would be the type of person who would pay $15 dollars for a 10 minute show featuring women with large thighs in unattractive swimsuits frolicking with a swine that no doubt, had relieved itself in the pool water on numerous prior occasions. So I left and spent my money on the fajita plate at Taco Cabana and later, some bowl of lime sherbert. Kind of a crappy day now that I think about it.

UPDATE: I did some hands on research with my oldest son's pet hermit crab. I stand embarassingly corrected. Not all God's creatures have the natural ability to swim. By the way, anyone know where I can find a hermit crab on a Sunday afternoon? The boy will be home in a couple of hours.


Cousin Kenny

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