Maintain The Theme

The first thing I think of before I go to court is to put my bra on.  That is of course, after I flat iron my hair.  The second thing I think of is, "Hey, what am I gonna do with this monkey?"  And naturally the answer is to put him in my bra.  Any one with higher function would think of that, don'tcha know?

Of course, this is all just a theoretical.  I don't flat iron my hair and I don't own a monkey.  Oh, and I don't wear bras.  Maybe a girdle every now and then when I'm feeling bloated. . .

All kidding aside, you have to ask yourself what has your life come to when as you prepare to go to the courthouse and your checklist is something like:  Purse, check!  Keys, check! Lipstick, check! Cellphone, check!  And then you make your way to the car when you realize, "Damn, I forgot the monkey!"

Honest proof that real life writes the best comedy.  Free of charge.