After 147 Years, Civil War Message is Finally Decoded

Hmmm...This is not at all what I came up with.  As translated by the CIA.

The glass vial stopped with a cork contained a coded missive to Lt Gen John C Pemberton, who was besieged in the Mississippi city by Union forces led by Ulysses S Grant.

After nearly six weeks people in Vicksburg had resorted to eating cats, dogs and leather, and making soup from wallpaper paste.

The encrypted, six line message was dated July 4, 1863, the date of Pemberton's surrender, and would have offered no hope to him. It said: "You can expect no help from this side of the river."

The source of the message is thought to have been Maj Gen John G. Walker, of the Texas Division.

Pemberton had also held out hope that General Joseph E Johnston, and his 32,000 Confederate troops camped south of Vicksburg, would eventually come to his aid, but Walker's message made clear that was not going to happen.

I deciphered this message on my own roughly 20 years ago.  Needless to say, my decoding does not mesh with that of the CIA.  My translation:

"Do not let those yankee bastards take the Krispy Kreme...And say...You ever heard how them yankees say 'orange'?...It sounds like they're saying 'oinge'...LOL...What a bunch of goofy bastards...But seriously Johnny...DEFEND THE LINE AT ALL COSTS...If we fail, it will mean Bon Jovi in every jukebox from here to Savannah"