Separated at birth?

Has Dumb Donald finally been unmasked?  Or is it his sister?  I report, you decide.

Either way, every time either one of them opens their mouths something stupid erupts from within it.

The Skins

This is an actress named Lily Collins and she played the small part of the daughter in The Blind Side, which is a favorite movie of mine for many reasons that I will not discuss.

Let's just say that besides the interesting and true story of a wealthy white family taking in a young, destitute, black teenager to raise him as their own totally destroys the common myth and misconception of the South as a hang 'em high lynch mob society between blacks and whites. The story also highlights the incredible acting prowess of Sandra Bullock's legbones.  Man, those legs.

If the Iranians could get a hold of her legs they would already have the bomb.  I'm pretty sure that even in her increasing age those legs could split atoms faster than the Large Hadron Collider in Europe.  As a matter of fact, I used to think that Linda Fiorentino had the best legs in Hollywood. . .

. . .but now I'm not so sure.  However, I did love Linda in Jade, a movie widely panned by critics, and have never forgiven Sandra for The Net, which critics and all living and breathing carbon life forms loathe.


And another thing about Sandra is her poor taste in men.  My dear Sandra, come to me.  I will tend to you like a garden of wild jasmine and wormwood blooms, tenderly nuturing your delicate tendrils of. . ....uh,

What was I talking about?

Oh right, Lily Collins.

I did not realize until today that she is the daughter of Phil Collins, the legendary drummer of Genesis, who, incidentally, I never forgave for the song "You Can't Hurry Love" which was an awful throwback remake of The Supremes classic Motown barber shop rebop tune that should have been left well enough alone.

Anyway, that's his daughter up there in all of her beautiful glory.  But I'm wondering. . .where'd she get all that luscious hair?

Phil?  Are you sure she's yours?

Now Playing

What is it with these young girls and pornography?

In our modern age, the internet is forever.  Videos are forever.  This isn't like some dusty, crinkled old Polaroids stuffed in the back of a sock drawer.  If you take your clothes off in front of the camera, the odds are that those photos or videos will eventually make it into the public sphere.

And to think that my relative lost to this hoochie just boils my blood.

You can put a crown on a pig, but only a nasty dog would roll over to take it from a total stranger for money.

Languid and Bittersweet

I have nothing to say.  Just sad that our little blog here is languishing.  Where is everyone??

Moar Lies!

In relation to the now signed, sealed and undelivered Hurricane Sandy relief bill, the Associated Press continues to spread disinformation about the unrelated spending (pork) buried within the bill.

The article states:

Conservatives concerned about billions in debt opposed the measure. Earlier this month, House Republicans removed unrelated spending from the bill.

Clearly this is a blanket statement of misinformation and is patently false.  Republicans may have removed some of the spending, but the article implies all unrelated spending was removed.

Here is some of the disaster relief spending included in the signed bill:

• $100 million dollars for Head Start
• $10 million for FBI salaries
• $2 billion for road repairs countrywide
• $32 million for Amtrak
• $1.35 billion for the Army Corps of Engineers (as a reference, the 2013 budget for the whole organization is $4.7 billion)
• And some monies for the Alaska fishing industry which apparently was devastated by a Hurricane that came inland over 4000 miles away

Thank you Congress and President Man Child for your careful oversight of our tax collections.  If only I could spend more than I take in every year in my business.  I'd be a multi-trillionaire by now!

Bang

Why is it that people who know little or nothing about weapons are the first ones to agitate for taking them away from the rest of law-abiding America?

And secondly, why are these the first people to pick up a weapon and immediately put their finger on the trigger, which any law-abiding gun owner knows is terrible gun etiquette and safety?

And here's the proper way, even though she is a verified idiot according to our betters in the media:

Cross-posted at Burning Toast

Dolla to holla?

It's been a while since we had any pole dancer news around here, so let me oblige. . .

Let's begin with a joke. . .

Why did the stripper stare at the orange juice can?

Because it said "concentrate."

And now for the real humor:

Two dancers on stage at an exotic dance club in Juneau got into a physical fight over $1, according to a Dodge County Sheriff’s Department report.

Officers were called to Silk Exotic around 9:30 p.m. Thursday to break up the fight.

A customer was trying to give a dollar to one of the dancers, but the other dancer took it, according to the report.

Both women fell to the floor, pulled each other’s hair and punched and slapped each other. Other dancers and customers separated the women.

One of the dancers involved in the fight is pregnant.

One can only imagine the, ah, the quality establishment and the, um, incredible talent in Silk Exotic.  In Juneau, Wisconsin.  In a town of less than 3,000 people.  A town perched out in the no-man's-dairy-land between Madison and Milwaukee.  A town whose closest neighboring "metropolis" is a place called Beaver Dam.

Yeah, that might explain away a little of that.

I hope no one got punched in the stomach.