A classic is destroyed

Where do people like this get their balls? It's one thing to butcher a classic tune in the privacy of your basement. I do it all the time. But no harm no foul if you keep it to yourself. Then on the other hand you have these retards that go through the trouble of recording it, editing it, signing on to youtube, uploading it and unleashing their little crime against humanity upon the worlds unsuspecting populace.

Stop it will you! Just stop it!!



Yeah, I know, I just helped perpetrate the crime even more. So what? If I have to suffer so do you.

The End - Russian Style

There is plenty of commentary today about what to do with about the pirate problem around the waters of Somalia. These waters are by far the most dangerous on the planet and as today's gruesome events that ended with the murder of 4 American citizens indicates, negotiation is no longer an option.

The laws that govern activities on the high seas are old and in fact state that the captain of a ship has the last say when pirates are captured. In the old days, death was the punishment and this law still stands today.

The Russians apparently believe in these old laws as this video indicates. Piracy cannot be tolerated, should not be tolerated and in the end, for those who do not value life should feel glory in their deaths.

I used to always say the only two good things that have ever come out of Russia are vodka and good looking women. Now I am of a different opinion and long live Mother Russia as long as she continues to do the dirty work the rest of us don't have the balls to deal with.

Sidenote: the video at the link is graphic in nature and should not be viewed for pansy ass liberals who think we should dump more monetary and food aid into Somalia instead of raining death on their heads from above.

Sad News

The four Americans captured recently by Somalian pirates have been found dead aboard their yacht. I apologize for no link, but the story is easy enough to find.

Not to make light of a very tragic situation, but one has to wonder what people are thinking when they travel the most dangerous waters on the planet in a small unarmed boat. I understand that these people believed that they were doing good by delivering Bibles to remote areas of the world and that their faith would protect them as they traveled. But Somalian pirates have a faith too, a faith in the weakness of developed nations to do a damned thing about these evil bastards who wreak havoc on the high seas. This isn't the 17th and 18th century anymore. Something must be done to discourage these kidnappings and killings.

An unfortunate truth is that the insurance companies that underwrite the policies for shipping vessels are reluctant to allow the craft to be armed. And most transit companies would rather pay the ransom than risk a more pro-active approach to the situation.

In any case, a greater naval and military presence in these waters is severely needed. If we start zapping the little bastards before they even get near a vessel might send the message that we are fed up and done with Somalian ignorance.

I for one am very tired of these Islamic assholes ruining every good day on the planet.


- Sent from my iPhone

Lt. Colonel Allen West

I am not a military guy, never joined, probably should have, but nevertheless, I have tremendous admiration for anyone who has ever served with honor. And I don't care if you cooked beans in the mess hall at some remote army base or led a full frontal assault on a machine gun in a suicide mission. It takes all of that for our military to work as it should and those that serve are owed the highest debt of gratitude.

There is a saying that goes, "Say what you mean and mean what you say." This is the embodiment of Lt. Colonel Allen West.

You don't fuck with The Jesus and you certainly don't fuck with The Lt. Colonel either.

Take that Islam!!!

- Sent from my iPhone

Power

As the situation continues to descend into chaos in the Middle East and North Africa and the world waits to see what is to become of all that, very little is being made about the confrontational naval maneuvers of the Iranian Navy which is trying to pass two warships through the Suez Canal for the first time in decades.

Conflicting reports have briefly appeared here and there saying yes they passed through, no they didn't, they have been delayed, they made it, etc., etc.

Well, I have a few reasons as to why this may be:

Aircraft Carriers USS Enterprise, Keasarge, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and Carl Vinson. Plus, guided missile destroyer USS Leyte Gulf and fast supply ship USNS Arctic.

What does this vast armada have to do with the situation? They are all within the happy confines of the Suez Canal and surrounding areas and may in fact board the Iranian ships as allowed under the auspices of the last round of UN sanctions.

It'll be interesting to see who flinches in this mighty stand off between the rights and wrongs of the world and chances are, it won't be us.


- Sent from my iPhone

Oh That Obama

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

One Of The Best Rock Songs Ever! No?

Certainly one the best uses of horns in a rock and roll song, like the sax the most.

BTW Captain, can you repost the story about the time you were at the intersection with some twit and decided to blast "rocks off" on the car radio? It's one of my all time favorites.

Baby, Baby, Beiber

And Oprah wonders why the ratings are terrible on her new television network?

Rights

I lifted this quote from Hot Air this morning:

“A young female reporter trying to get into the Senate chamber struggled to get through the crowd. She arrived disheveled and upset because she had been roughed up as she tried to get through ‘Bitch-slapped’ the mob told her. A senior senator was spat on. A senator and his female staffer struggled to get into the capitol. He was worried about his staffer because the crowd was grabbing at her and pushing her. University Police were two arms lengths away and did nothing. They, of course, are union.”

I don't know who said it and truly, it doesn't matter.  What is important to understand is how unions have corrupted even those who are paid "to protect and serve."  Disgusting.

Teachers Union Protesters Leave Trash All Over Wisconsin Capitol Grounds

I guess 100,000K a year doesn't include cleaning up after yourself.

Wisconsin Teacher Salaries

And keep in mind that this is midwest, not New Jersey money.  i.e., the cost of living is much lower in the midwest.

32 year old, total compensation: $79,000


57 year old, total compensation: $89,500

61 year old, total compensation: $103,000

57 year old, total compensation: $118,000

58 year old, total compensation: $110,000

41 year old, total compensation: $103,000

42 year old, total compensation: $105,000

 
There is absolutely no equivalent to these salaries in the private sector.  These are C students at state universities.  Bottom feeders.  Wisconsin teacher salaries are determined by seniority, not merit.
 
Oh, you can argue they're worth it.  But then you'd have to explain to me why are children get dumber and dumber every year.
 
These salaries and the correspondent benefits are simply outrageous.  No state can afford this over the long term.

Photos from the Wisconsin Hate Fest

Doug Ross has a great collection of photos from the union protests in Wisconsin.  Look at them.  You never saw ANYTHING approach this level of hate at tea parties.  And the state-controlled media turns a blind eye.

See the photos here.

So we should expect an inspiring speech from Obama asking that these people tone down the discourse?

Two Tales of the Obama Gestapo

Organized thugs and state controlled media are the hallmarks of all left-wing totalitarian states.

Who is behind the "day of rage" protests in Wisconsin?  Obama.  That's who.

Now folded into the Democratic National Committee, Obama’s campaign group Organizing For America is already actively engaged in Wisconsin and is beginning to ramp up organizing efforts in Ohio, though observers say the latter process is about a week behind that in Wisconsin. The group is also beginning to dig into Indiana, whose legislature is considering a bill to limit collective bargaining by teachers.

And who makes sure Obama always looks good?  News reporters?  Or narrative shapers?

Obama Gets Punked by President Gilligan

Where's your god now Obama?

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad attacked Barack Obama on Friday, saying the American president "doesn't even know how to spell his own name properly."

Fire em' all

I've been watching the protests in Wisconsin with great interest. You should be too. This is only the first in what I think are going to be many more scenes like this. The time has finally come. It's the producers vs. the non-producers. It's the entitled vs. the non-entitled. Public vs. private. Thuggery alert is high...very high.

Of course, you and I know that these union/government employees have no legitimate gripe. If they accomplish their goal, it will be through sheer intimidation. This Wisconsin governor, Scott Walker, he deserves all your support. What he is doing is one of the most politically courageous acts I've seen in a long time. And many other governors, if they do the right thing, are going to be in his shoes very soon.

President Obama called the Governor's actions "an assault" on unions.  Hmmm...Weren't you the one, Obama, running around telling everyone to watch their tone? 

If I were running that show, I'd fire as many of those yahoos as I could. It's not like there isn't a long line of people willing to take their jobs.

Stand your ground Mr. Walker. Hold that line!

Watch this video of the Governor.

Amber Alert

Your grandkids...

...will not only be able to understand what they are saying, but consider this the highest form of entertainment and the host and magician most honorable people.

Super Whacky Muslim Fun Time: "The Genie Stole Our Baby"

Sure the genie stole your baby.  No way it could have been one of the many child molesters that run rampant in, and that are ignored by, your society.

A Yemeni girl has been missing for nearly a month in Saudi Arabia and her family believe she could have been snatched by jinn (genies), a newspaper reported on Thursday.

The 23-year-old girl stepped out of her house in a mountainous village near the western town of Taif and never returned, prompting a massive police search campaign, Sabq Arabic language daily said.

“Some people told police they saw her walking on a hill not far from her house then vanished again,” the paper said.

“Her brothers and some residents in the village said she sometimes appears at night and then suddenly disappears…they told police that they believe she has been haunted and taken by jinn.”

Speaking of genies...Who made the better genie?

Betty Page?

or Barbara Eden?

Ain't that a kick in the head?

People who are in power only because we created the conditions to assume power now want our money.

Iraq's capital wants the United States to apologize and pay $1 billion for the damage done to the city not by bombs but by blast walls and Humvees since the U.S.-led invasion that toppled Saddam Hussein.

The city's government issued its demands in a statement on Wednesday that said Baghdad's infrastructure and aesthetics have been seriously damaged by the American military.

"The U.S. forces changed this beautiful city to a camp in an ugly and destructive way, which reflected deliberate ignorance and carelessness about the simplest forms of public taste," the statement said.

The part of this story that makes me really angry has yet to come.  That's the part where we give them the money.

They Love John Kerry in Pakistan

Okay...maybe not.  Smart power!!!

And really? No love for Obama? But he says "Pok-e-Stahn" and everything.

Separated At Birth x2

Brenda Speaks and Brigette Nielsen?

John Wiley Price and Dumb Donald?

Bonus poll content!

I Actually Found Someone Dumber than Sheila Jackson Lee

If his impressive, albeit brief, track record is any indication, I think I found a mate for Sheila Jackson Lee (provided they are both sterilized to avoid procreation).  And what a coincidence, like Lee, this man is also from Texas.

Tuesday’s Dallas County Commissioner’s Court meeting erupted into an argument between Commissioner John Wiley Price and a citizen, ending with Price repeatedly telling several citizens to “go to hell.”

The exchange started during the public speaking portion of the meeting, which happens after the commissioners have gone through their weekly agenda.

Six citizens addressed the court. All of them talked about the recent controversial departure of county Elections Administrator Bruce Sherbet. Sherbet, who was the Elections Administrator for 24 years, said he felt Price and Dallas County Judge Clay Jenkins forced him out.

The last public speaker at Tuesday’s meeting, Jeff Turner, began by stating that he would refer to “a certain member of the court” — Price — as “the Chief Mulllah of Dallas County.”

Court rules state that public speakers may not address individual commissioners by name.

As Turner spoke, he continued to call Price “Chief Mulllah.” Price interrupted Turner several times, yelling at him, “don’t call me Chief Mulllah” and “call me by my name.”

The New Oxford American Dictionary defines “mullah” as “a Muslim learned in Islamic theology and sacred law.”

Turner continued speaking, ignoring Price’s ongoing interruptions.

At that point, Jenkins adjourned the meeting.

As Price stood to leave, he looked at Turner and the five other citizens who addressed the court. Price said to them, “All of you are white. Go to hell!”

Price repeated “go to hell” three more times. An unknown member of the audience said, “You should be ashamed!”

“I’m not ashamed!” Price answered. “I’m not ashamed! Go to hell!”

Many of you might remember that Price is the same retard that went on a rant when a fellow board member used the term "black hole".

Tell the truth...Did you ever imagine...

you would see such a sight from a president and first lady?

I think the whole idea of breaking out in dance at a formal party is a Chicago thing.

Justin Bieber Called Me Evil

The Canadian-born Bieber never plans on becoming an American citizen. "You guys are evil," he says with a laugh. "Canada's the best country in the world. We go to the doctor and we don't need to worry about paying him, but here, your whole life, you're broke because of medical bills.

First, JB, you do pay for your healthcare.  Or at least people who work and pay taxes do.  And second, you nasally little twit, you inspire thousands of American boys to copy your haircut and you're calling me evil?

  

A big thanks to the Lord Almighty that neither of my sons has reached this level of faggyness. 

Bombs For Allah

Iranians warships are soon to pass through the Suez Canal on their way to Syria. You think Israel is gonna have anything to say about that?

Buy your beanie weenies now because this may be the beginning of the end-all, be-all mothers of mismanaged American foreign policy failures ever.


- Sent from my iPhone

Journalistic Fellatio Part 45,629

One question for you Chris Matthews...Do you spit or swallow?

“Is there one of them that can do what Obama can do?” . . . “The precision of mind, the command of recall, the orderly process of thinking, the reasonable moral compass.” - Chris "Tingles" Matthews

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Super Whacky Liberal Hairdo Time

The children ask me..."Why do you do these things?"

This is Brenda Speaks, from District of Columbia Advisory Neighborhood Commission 4B

And this is the rest of the folks on the Commission.

Great News out of Egypt

Reasonable and sane minds are prevailing.  I don't think anyone saw this kind of behavior coming.

60 Minutes" correspondent Lara Logan was repeatedly sexually assaulted by thugs yelling, "Jew! Jew!" as she covered the chaotic fall of Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak in Cairo's main square Friday, CBS and sources said yesterday.

The TV crew with Logan, who is also the network's chief foreign correspondent, had its cameras rolling moments before she was dragged off -- and caught her on tape looking tense and trying to head away from a crowd of men behind her in Tahrir Square.

"Logan was covering the jubilation . . . when she and her team and their security were surrounded by a dangerous element amidst the celebration," CBS said in a statement. "It was a mob of more than 200 people whipped into a frenzy.

"In the crush of the mob, [Logan] was separated from her crew. She was surrounded and suffered a brutal and sustained sexual assault and beating before being saved by a group of women and an estimated 20 Egyptian soldiers.

"She reconnected with the CBS team, returned to her hotel and returned to the United States on the first flight the next morning," the network added. "She is currently in the hospital recovering."

A network source told The Post that her attackers were screaming, "Jew! Jew!" during the assault. And the day before, Logan had told Esquire.com that Egyptian soldiers hassling her and her crew had accused them of "being Israeli spies." Logan is not Jewish.

In Friday's attack, she was separated from her colleagues and attacked for between 20 to 30 minutes, The Wall Street Journal said.

Her injuries were described to The Post as "serious."

CBS went public with the incident only after it became clear that other media outlets were on to it, sources said.

"A call came in from The [Associated Press]" seeking information, a TV-industry source told The Post. "They knew she had been attacked, and they had details. CBS decided to get in front of the story."

Most network higher-ups didn't even know how brutal the sexual assault was until a few minutes before the statement went out.

"We were surprised it stayed quiet" as long as it did, one source said.

Another source insisted that Logan was "involved in the process" of deciding whether to make her attack public, and ultimately understood why the statement had to be released.

Amazing that CBS would not report this story.  Who were they protecting?  The reporter?  Or the muslims who assaulted her?  It says quite a bit about our media when the answer isn't obvious.

Racist?

The liberal media is saying this cartoon depeciting Michelle Obama is racist.  What do you think?  (Hint - clicking it makes it bigger)

So Who Was the Woman Congressman Lee was Emailing?

She's 5'10, 190 lbs, and black.

You send this...

And you get this in return...

The Lord he does move in mysterious ways.

Obama Says Shi*t on Live TV

Obama:  “bring annual domestic spending to its lowest shit — lowest share to the economy since Dwight Eisenhower.”

Obama's Teleprompter:  "Gotcha!"

h/t Weasel Zippers

Yeah...

Spring is in the air...

Fresh Face

I read this story yesterday about South Dakota Representative Kristi Noem over at The Daily Caller and what struck me deeply was her simple upbringing and core values that have allowed her to succeed in life. I mean, what's not to like about an attractive cowgirl who hunts, shoots guns, and ropes cattle, but more important than her outward beauty and abilities for operating a ranch, hunting guide business and a restaurant is her tough as nails, less government approach to politics.

This feature on her is well worth the read and her star should shine bright throughout her political career as long as she remains true to what she believes in and doesn't become a victim as she treads the filthy swamp of Washington. And her eyes....oh her eyes.

(Captain, insert a picture for me. I'm away from my office acting as if I am working today and have no way to post one, thanks.)

HAVE NO FEAR...Captain Thurston is here.  So you want a picture of Kristi Noem?  Here ya go.

An addendum:  Normally I wouldn't post this, but since it appears to be no big secret...Let's just say the woman likes to drive fast.  Which makes me love her even more.

Read

What a severely pathetic hit piece that site is.  Really?  In this day and times?  That's all you got on her?

Snapshots of Mississippi

Downtown Lexington, one of the prettiest town squares in the state.

My apologies for the giant windshield crack, but as anyone who lives here can tell you, it is a fact of life. Our asphalt roads and subbases are made from river-borne gravel which is generally round in shape. Once it gets worked loose from the road, they bumble along like bouncing balls and destroy thousands of windshields a day.

Don't Piss Off the Alpaca

An alpaca attacks an ESPN reporter. Da na na...na na na.

Cat Fight! - Obama Angry at Hillary Clinton

Seems they weren't on the same page during the Egyptian crisis.

The paper reported that Obama was "seething" over State Department officials's statement suggesting that the administration did not want a quick transition of power in Egypt, with President Hosni Mubarak stepping down from his office immediately.

Obama felt that the State Department "made it look as if the administration were protecting a dictator and ignoring the pleas of the youths of Cairo."

As Secretary Clinton and her special envoy Frank Wisner repeatedly called for an orderly transition that would include President Mubarak remaining in office for at least a period of time, Obama and his team studiously sought to undermine the State Department stance.

The Times states that Mr. Obama "was furious" about Clinton's and Wisner's statements, "as Mr. Obama was demanding that change in Egypt begin right away."

Secretary Clinton was not the only figure who opposed Obama's view. Clinton was joined by Vice President Joe Biden and Defense Secretary Robert Gates, who also were advocating that Obama adhere to a cautious and more traditional foreign policy approach toward the situation in Egypt.

Unhappy about the mixed signals high-ranking officials were giving, Obama intervened directly, telling White House advisers that "this was not the message we should be delivering.”

According to the Times, the Obama White House even recruited Democratic Sen. John Kerry to appear on "Meet the Press" last Sunday to contradict Wisner's statements that reflected Secretary Clinton's views. Wisner’s comments “just don’t reflect where the administration has been from day one,” Kerry said on the program.

Sarkozy: "Multiculturalism Didn't Work"

Say...you're quick on your feet Nic.

French President Nicolas Sarkozy on Thursday declared that multiculturalism had failed, joining a growing number of world leaders or ex-leaders who have condemned it.

"We have been too concerned about the identity of the person who was arriving and not enough about the identity of the country that was receiving him," he said in a television interview in which he declared the concept a "failure."

Bits, Bytes, Blow Me

I was listening to NPR this morning, and before you go sayin' "hey you commie pinko bastard," please let me explain.  Radio in Jackson leaves a lot to be desired.  On the local rock station, you can listen to the male/male/female equivalent of Beavis and Butthead or on the classic rock station you can listen to sixteen rednecks (John Boy and Billy) screaming and laughing at one another over stuff that just really isn't that funny.  The other option is the local talk radio, which is usually pretty interesting, but this morning's discussion was some black guy, maybe a politician, arguing for more money for public education and how charter schools don't work.

So, I was stuck with NPR and in today's offering they were talking about IBM's new supercomputer nicknamed "Watson."  Watson is scheduled to take on the two top Jeopardy champions over the next three nights on television.  I thought it was rather interesting as the dicussion focused on how Watson processed the answers to the questions without the added human quality of "context."

Now, Watson apparently is not right ALL the time, missing an answer about what grasshoppers ate by responding with "What is kosher?"  However, in the end, I think that Watson will probably prevail and it'll be neat to see what he does with his prize money.  Robot hookers and cocaine, I betcha.



Iran

Here is a link to an excellent Liveblog of today's protests in Iran.  Let's hope they can keep the momentum going until those crazy mullahs are hiking their skirts and running for the hills.  Iran has few friends in the region and although the focus lately has been Egypt, let's hope our corrupt media gives this just as much play.  The dissolution of the Iranian regime is far more important politically than a nascent "democracy" in Egypt and if our media has any scruples (doubtful) at all, then they'll whip this up like a heap of taters just like they did in Egypt.

Oh by the way, have you seen how attractive Iranian women are?  If we owe anything to ourselves, it's to unleash this kind of beauty upon the world. Screw you Ahmedinajerkoff!

Iranians Protest for Freedom - Obama Says...

Nothing.  He doesn't say a damn thing.

Iranian police have fired tear gas at opposition supporters participating in a rally in the centre of the capital, Tehran, called in solidarity with the popular uprisings in Egypt and Tunisia.

A BBC producer, who was affected by the gas, said there had been severe clashes and described a scene of "total chaos".

There were also reports of protests in the cities of Isfahan and Shiraz.

Consistency of thought would require Obama to demand the Iranian regime step down.  I haven't heard that demand.

In case you missed it...

Video of Mick Jagger at the Grammys.  Jagger is 67 years old.  Honestly, I'm not sure how other artists take themselves seriously after watching Jagger perform.

Slacker Hippie Group Beheads Ronald McDonald

A group of smelly hippies, whose deeds and thoughts stem, undoubtedly not from poverty or desparation, but from affluence and comfort, have decided it's a good idea to kill Ronald Mcdonald.

I don't really care for McDonald's. But I'm having a Big Mac meal for lunch just to spite these fools.

Food Liberation Army? Looks more like someone liberated them from their minds.

Friendships in a Cyber Age

Sad news this morning.

Joshua Goldberg, son of Lucianne, brother of Jonah, and husband of Chantal, died long before his time, following injuries resulting from a fall. Although he was less well-known than his mother and brother, Josh quietly edited the sites Lucianne.com, BlogsLucianneLoves, and The Connection, working mostly behind the scenes. That was his way. Following 911, Josh was one of those New Yorkers who put on his work boots and walked miles to the WTC site to help go through the rubble looking for survivors and victims’ bodies. That was the kind of man he was, quietly doing the right thing, and never seeking public credit for it.

I've never met Joshua.  I emailed him quite often and had some brief exchanges in that manner.  Nonetheless, I considered him a friend.  Right Wing News had a nice piece in that regard.  Read it here. 

Super Whacky Muslim Fun Time: Activewear for the Muslim Woman

Bahahahahahahahahaha.....From Iran:

Haters Gonna Hate

I was wondering when this call would come out.  Frankly, I thought it would come from Oprah.

Oh Muammar.  You so crazy.

Gaddafi also issued a call to Muslim countries to join forces against Western powers. He said the world was divided into white, denoting the United States, Europe and their allies, and green for the Muslim world.

"The white colour has decided to get rid of the green colour," Gaddafi said. "These countries should be united against the white colour because all of these white countries are the enemies of Islam."

Green?  WTF?  I miss something?

Some Things are Just Wrong

and this is one of them...even by rat hat standards.

I saw this over at IOTW.  I had plans for tonight...RUINED!!!

A Letter from Dr. Dre

In which he discusses the possible exploitation of those freaks who attend the "Burning Man" festivals.

(Click to enlarge)

Bang Bang

Needs no description.

Fort Wayne, Indiana Loves Harry Baals

Just watch. It's worth it.

Obama: Iran vs. Egypt vs. America

Obama's policies:

On Iran, an anti-american, muslim fundamentalist government and the 2009 protests for democracy:

Mr Obama said he believed Iranian voices should be heard, although he added that he did not want to be seen to be "meddling".

On pro-american, pro-capitalism TEA party protests that swept America throughout 2009 and 2010:

President Barack Obama said Thursday he’s amused by the anti-tax tea party protests that have been taking place around Tax Day.

On Egypt's pro-American, secular government and the 2011 protests:

We believe that the universal rights of the Egyptian people must be respected, and their aspirations must be met. We believe that this transition must immediately demonstrate irreversible political change, and a negotiated path to democracy.

What is one to make of these differences in opinion?

Hot/Hotter

Hot.

Hotter


I remain...

Your Ali

Chinese Sick Day

CHINESE SICK LEAVE : 'I NO COME WORK TODAY!!!'



Hung Chow calls into work and says, 'Hey, I no come work today, I really sick . Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.'


The boss says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me Sex. That Makes everything better and I go to work.. You try that.'


Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. 'I do what You say and I feel Great. I be at work soon.........You got nice house'

h/t My Mom

Fight!

Supporters and opponents of Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez came to blows during a session of the country’s national assembly Thursday. Opponents of Chavez became upset when supports continued to interrupt during speeches.

 

Us Weekly Publishes Fake Palin Story

What timing.  With all that's been going on here, to combine Palin and Christina Aguilera in one story?

Us Weekly has published what it claims are comments made by Sarah Palin, in which the former vice presidential candidate blasts Christina Aguilera’s performance of the national anthem at Super Bowl XLV.

Except the over-the-top “quotes,” which Us Weekly attributes to a Monday radio interview with Sean Hannity, were actually written for a satire website.

Again: Palin’s Aguilera comments are fabricated.  They come from a satire piece.  Only Us Weekly posted the “Palin” comments as real.

Therefore, according to Us Weekly, Palin calls Aguilera a “demanding beauty queen who’s clearly in over her head.”

The fake “Palin” also talks about wanting to “deport” Aguilera, because “spicy Latin princesses” shouldn’t be allowed to sing at the Super Bowl.

“Unemployment is at nine percent, yet we have to suffer through a performance by a foreigner with a poor grasp of the English language,” the fake “Palin” supposedly tells “Hannity” in the phony interview.

Awesome Video with Sharks, a Heron, and a School of Fish

I suppose one could make some metaphorical political observations with this video. I'm not going to do that.

Awesome Fish Attack ... Epic Heron Fail from Mark on Vimeo.

This is Pretty Much How Hitler and the Brownshirts Started

Anyone who is knowledgable in the tactics Hitler used to come to power, and to consolidate his power once he got there, will recognize these tactics by Obama's foot soldiers, the SEIU.

The Service Employees International Union is planning a major campaign to recruit members and counter political pressure on public-sector unions, according to an internal union memo and an SEIU board member.

The campaign—called Fight for a Fair Economy—will focus on mobilizing mostly low-wage minority workers in 10 to 15 cities, including Cleveland, Milwaukee, Miami and Detroit, according to the memo reviewed by The Wall Street Journal. The SEIU wants the effort to peak in the summer of 2012, with events at primaries, town-hall meetings and other campaign venues, according to the memo.

Now THIS Pisses Me Off! - NASA to Name Spaceship After Egyptian Protester

I read this headline and thought it was a joke.  And then I read the article looking for the punchline.  This is no joke. 

The United States space agency NASA has okayed the naming of one of its spaceships after a young Egyptian woman killed in late January during an anti-goverment protest, according to Egyptian daily Al-Masry-al-Youm. 

The paper quoted Essam Mohamed Haji, a young researcher at NASA as saying on Thursday he had received approval to put the young woman Sally Zahran's name on a spaceship heading for Mars.

Zahran, a 23 English graduated and translator died after she was beaten about the head on 28 January with a truncheons during clashes with security forces in in the Upper Egyptian governorate of Sohag. Anti-government protesters claim her killers were thugs in the pay of police.

“This is the least we could provide to Egyptian youth and revolutionaries. This step represents transferring the dreams of Egyptian youth from a small stretch of earth to the enormous expanse of space,” said Haji was cited as telling Al-Masri Al-Youm by phone from California.

What the hell are we doing honoring foreign revolutionaries with our tax dollars and with our space program?  Who, besides these nitwits at NASA thought this was a good idea?  Of all the Americans that could have been honored...from all walks of life...both past and present...all the people doing great and courageous things...soldiers giving their lives overseas...and they can't find one American to name this spaceship after?  Maybe I'm making too big of a deal out of this.  You guys tell me.

Nonsense

The Frozen Tundra

This winter has been remarkably mild in Mississippi and relatively dry in comparison to last year. However, these last two weeks we have been on a roller coaster of warm, chilly, cold, frozen precipitation, warm again and now, just damn cold.

Of course, our winters are not nearly of the magnitude like in places further north, but most of you have never experienced our summers either. We are warm weather people. We are not used to snow and ice and sub 20 degree mornings. Just last Sunday I was outside pulling weeds in a pair of shorts. This morning I look like Ralphie's little brother in A Christmas Story.

In the Spanish language when referring to the weather, you use the verb "hacer", which means "to make or do." For example, "hace calor", literally translated means "it makes hot." Or "hace lluvia", "it makes rain." Well, today it is most definitely making some cold here in Mississippi and I'm about sick of it.

It is almost time to start work on the spring garden, so Al Gore? Keep your damn mouth shut bucko!

And one other Spanish lesson before I go. Hacer is also used to abruptly declare things such as the desire to use the restroom. So it is not uncommon to hear someone say, at the dinner table perhaps, "yo hago piss!" Which means "I have to tee tee." But it is usually said in brusque force and can be difficult for a person like myself who would say something more delicate like, "Excuse me, I am going to the restroom," instead of announcing rudely exactly what I am going to be doing in there.  Nothing destroys a lovely dinner like some dope exclaiming he is about to take a dump.

This was something I never quite got used to while living in Central America. Well, that and their lack of political correctness when it came to appearances. If you were ugly, they called you "feo" and if you were fat you were "gordo." If you were a black guy, that's exactly what they called you, "Hola Negro!" And even if you were mentally or physically handicapped, man, woman, or child, no one escaped the wrath of the name calling. But it was all accepted in good humor and in a way, I completely admire that.

Ok, lesson is over. Ustedes maricones pueden chupar el pene del diablo ahora!

- Sent from my iPhone

Rock And Roll

I let the music speak for itself.

Huckleberry Finn's "Jim" to be Replaced with Robot

You've probably read where the "n" word, often used to describe the character "Jim" in the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is going to be scrubbed from the books.  Well...One group is taking it a step further.

Famous writer Ernest Hemingway once hailed "Huck Finn" as being "the best book we've ever had." We agree with him-even if he did drink too much.

But this classic novel has been banned from many schools and libraries ever since it's first publication, originally because it portrayed the African American character Jim as being human and now because of the book's use of the word "n-word" over two hundred times.

Publisher NewSouth Books is attempting to get the book back on library shelves and in classrooms by publishing a new version that removes the controversial word "n-word" and replaces it with the word "slave."

Critics are calling this "censorship" and "whitewashing of history." We call it "not far enough."

Robots instead of N-bombs: Statistically, people prefer robots to the word "n-word." The word "n-word" is ugly and pejorative. Robots are fun and cool...even when they're trying to take over our world! So we've decided to take the word "n-word" out of Mark Twain's classic and replace it with "robot."

Frankly...I find the word "robot", in this context, equally offensive. May I suggest the term "Mechanical-American"?

The Dude May Abide

. . .but this is totally ridiculous.  I present the Church of The Latter-Day Dude. 

Next thing you know there'll be a Church of the Jedi.

Oh wait, there is.

Ok, I feel inspired now.  I am going to start the Church of How Many Licks Does It Take To Get To The Center Of A Tootsie-Pop Tootsie Roll.  It will feature cheerleaders licking lollipops and I'll charge you $19.95 a month to watch it from your computer.

It's about as logical and you won't be subjected to scads of dirty, backpacking, supposedly-enlightened hippies in Thailand either.

H/T: Nils

Fed Up

I don't know about you folks, but I am totally fed up with the state of politics in our beloved country and the unhinged lunacy across our globe.  One question:  What the fuck is wrong with everyone??

I get up every morning to go to work.  I work.  Then I go home. I eat the food bought with my hard earned money and then I sleep.  Sometimes, particularly on the weekends I let my hair down (which the chicks dig by the way) and I get running drunk at the local watering hole doing my best not to be toted out the door by any women larger than me.  The next day I hurt.  Then the next day I get up and go to work again.

In the spring, I plant a garden and I tend to the delicate plants and by mid summer I enjoy the fruits of my labor.  If I have the desire, I launch my little john boat into the pond to do some fishing.  I usually don't keep them.  Sometimes I drag my 200 watt guitar amplifier out on the porch and and grind my guitar into the face of the wilderness.  I keep to myself, mind my manners, hold doors open for men, women, children, old, disabled, whoever.  I try not to speed, I am courteous to both neighbor and stranger alike.  I give money to people without the expectation of repayment.  I pay my taxes, I donate to charity, I cook food and give it away to the unsuspecting. I am not perfect, but I generally contribute to society in a positive fashion.

I have never cooked a baby in a microwave, strapped a bomb to a teenager and blew him up, overthrown a government, flown a plane into a building, hijacked a ship, refused to assimilate in another culture/country, incited violence, mooched off the taxpayers of this country, sold drugs to children, gone on a violent rampage with a gun, married a child, humped any kind of animal, participated in a trouble-causing flash mob, chopped the hand off a child, beheaded my wife, or convinced a kid to wear a bomb around his balls for God.

Hell, maybe I need to change.  Maybe my life is boring in comparison to the rest of the world.  Yes, I have dreams of course.  I want to carry a hot dog with me everywhere I go and photograph him in unusual places, like in the underwear drawer of a Victoria's Secret store perhaps.  The thought of a glistening meatlog in a tender bun next to the latest ruched-back satin bikini-cut panty is pleasing.  I will then compile all of these images in a large coffee table book called, Surprise!  The Incongruent Journey of the Wiener.  Or alternatively, It Looks Like a Dick, So Put it in Your Pocket, Pu$$y.

But these are simple dreams, dreams of a dreamer.  Maybe I'm not cut out for this real world reality of mutilation, violence and chaos.  I'm trying to do good and everyone else seems hell-bent on destroying something, but maybe that's because this is the way of the world.  Metals oxidize, teeth fall out, boulders crumble, old people die and leaves fall and decay. We are subjected to an on-going perpetuation of destruction and some are just more in a hurry that others I suppose.

Am I the outcast here?  Am I the only one left trying to make a change in a quiet and determined manner, yet maintaining a mild anonymity in the process?  Is it just me and my hot dog as the last hope of sanity for all of mankind?  Please say it ain't so because a man and his hot dog can only do so much for the planet.

And pretty soon, it's liable to just be me, powerless and weak, and without my beloved oblong meat pal.

My First Car

My first car was a 1975 Volkswagen Rabbit.  It was baby poop green and had two doors.  Three if you count the back hatch, or six if you count the hood, the glove box, and the gas tank.  The master cylinder would leak brake fluid onto the passenger side floorboard and because of that, I would spend my lunch money, daily, on brake fluid.  If I didn't stop too many times, I would be OK.  If I drove too much, there were times when the only way to stop the car was to throw it down into first gear, open the door and drag your feet along the pavement.  This worked better with a friend.

The springs in the driver seat poked through the seat and into my arse.  I tried to solve this problem by purchasing a fake lambskin seat cover from the JC Whitney catalog.  It didn't work and only poked holes in my newly purchased seat cover.  I installed a Kraco cassette player ($20 at K-Mart) and some Jensen 6 x 9 speakers that I hung from coat hangers above the back seat.  The wattage was so low that you could only hear the radio when the car was stopped.  I discovered the Rolling Stones on that system.

Once I was cruising the local drag and a small dash fire broke out.  It was extinguished, but after that, the interior smelled liked burnt rubber and no matter how good looking my friends were, it was impossible to convince girls to go for a ride with us.

The car met its fate one night when I loaned it to my older brother to drive.  He informed me the next morning that the car had broken down.  A few days later my dad took me to the garage where it was towed to discuss repairing it with the mechanic.  He said it wasn't worth fixing.  He opened the hood and showed us where one of the pistons had blown completely through the engine block.  Oil was everywhere.  All that I took from the car were the Jensen speakers and half a can of brake fluid.  And the seat cover.

Static

Believe me, it's worth the two minutes you'll spend here.

Need I say more?

I'm still trying to figure our if that is some old school tv antenna or a dead black cat on this dude's head.  Your thoughts?

Schwarzenegger - Big in Tanzania

A 9-year-old movie buff named Alex in Tanzania re-enacts the 1985 action flick Commando —his favorite movie—shot for shot, Schwarzenegger and all.

I used to do the same thing with Rocky III. It was summer we got HBO. I could have spent my summer more wisely, I think.

Guns for Vibrators

For those of you who miss out on roses...

Just in time for Valentine's Day, an adult romance store in Alabama is offering to exchange unwanted guns for sex toys.

Sherri Williams, owner of Pleasures, a one-stop shop adult romance store in Huntsville, says she's hewing to the philosophy to "make love, not war," the Madison County Record reports.

"It's my way of getting guns off the street," Williams says. "Bring your own gun, no matter what condition, and we will give you whatever it's worth with a store credit."

Williams says she plans to refurbish and sell the donated guns, with proceeds going to victims of gun violence, the newspaper reports.

First she claims she wants guns off the street, and then she says she going to fix them and sell them?

Laurie Dhue; party animal!

I had always wondered what became of Laurie Dhue of Fox News. Turns out she was a raging alcoholic and she's picking up the pieces of a broken life. You'd never know it by the professional attitude she exuded. That takes some major strength to recover from the hangovers and go on air like that. Damn, I love her more now.


News item:

Go Laurie


I wish her all the luck in the world. We could use her right here at the Feed. Call me Laurie.

The Answer

Ali was wondering why in the world Obama would want to spend $53 billion on high speed rail.

Camel Toes

I guess this could qualify as Super-Whacky Muslim Fun Time, but there is no one getting blowed up or anything of that nature.  Just a bunch of rich Arab camel breeders and their stock.  This is for you Ali.





And also Ali, here is Christina showing more of her range and ability.  Not only can she rock and roll, she can rock and soul too.

What Do You Mean You're 46?

You said you were 39.  So like, you were lying to me?

How do you piss away a career in such a remarkably dumb manner? it's just as well. Anyone this obtuse has no business governing.

Say it Ain't So Mick

Come on Mick!  Who cares if you have a tiny wee wee?  You've had more women than John Holmes.  Let's rock n' roll!

The Rolling Stones' latest tour could be in jeopardy because of Sir Mick Jagger is still unhappy with bandmate Keith Richards for claiming he had a ''tiny todger'' - a British slang term for penis.

The Rolling Stones' latest tour is reportedly in jeopardy following a row over the size of Sir Mick Jagger's manhood.

The group's frontman is said to still be angry with his bandmate Keith Richards after he claimed in his autobiography and an interview last year that Mick had a small penis and plans for a new set of concerts have been put on hold.

In his book 'Life', Keith referred to Mick as "unbearable" as well as saying his former girlfriend Marianne Faithfull had "no fun with his tiny todger".

I refuse to believe that such a  "tiny todger" s capable of THIS...

Oh you like you some Christina, Toasty?

This is some super fine stuff. And to make matters even better, your pal Ali was in the crowd that night at the Beacon.

She should sing more rock songs. She's got the chops.

Ladyboy Airlines

A new airline is hiring "ladyboy" flight attendants.  So be careful when you're offered nuts on one of their flights.

Al Gore?

Blow me.

Frozen precipitation is falling from the sky for the second time in two weeks in central Mississippi.

- Sent from my iPhone

All the Awesome You Can Handle

I rarely laugh these days.  This made me laugh.  From Tacky Raccoons:

There’s entirely waaaaay too much awesome in that photo and it all starts with the olive carpet that moves to the brown paisley drapes with the cream scrim then to the air rattler in the window and HEY it’s a stereo Magnavox TV awww there’s a baby picture WHOA RABID FOX awww another baby picture WTF IS THAT WHITE THING and an odd looking glasstop credenza with an oriental tobacco box and a brass genie lamp and LOOKOUT IT’S A SHARK ASHTRAY!