Super Whacky Muslim Fun Time

Man...These people are fargin fools!

Following are excerpts from an address by Egyptian cleric Wagdi Ghoneim, which aired on Al-Jazeera TV on August 13, 2010:

Wagdi Ghoneim: Don't spend too long [in the toilet], because this is the house of Satan. [Islamic] etiquette requires that we do not spend too much time inside. Some brothers take newspapers and magazines into the bathroom. This is the house of Satan. Today, some people even take their laptop in with them. They sit with their laptop and begin surfing the Internet.

By God, you should get out, and then you can do whatever you like. This is the "house of Satan," you shouldn't linger there. Some people even take their morning coffee inside, because they like to "smell" the coffee first thing in the morning. But that's another thing.

We must enter quickly and leave quickly. Make sure you step out with your right foot. That's Islamic etiquette.

When they eat, some people act as if they are using a shovel. They use it do dig holes in the rice. God help us.

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When you drink, don't breathe into the glass. When I drink, I breathe three times. I breathe outside. I don't blow missiles into the glass. You should breathe outside the glass.

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When you are about to yawn, cover your mouth with your hand. When some people yawn, they open their mouths wide, as if they want to show you their wisdom teeth.

On top of that, they start making music... What's this? Only God knows. You should cover your mouth. Muslim etiquette requires that you cover your mouth. First, you should fight the urge to yawn, but if you must, you should cover your mouth with your hand. If you don't, Satan will urinate in your mouth.

Do any of you want Satan to urinate in his mouth? You don't believe me? You can see that when someone yawns without covering his mouth, he goes like this... Get it? He tastes it.

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