Thursday, May 31, 2012

Skating baboons = awesome

This video was supposed to cause an uproar. Sun reporters snuck into North Korea and filmed what they refer to as a "slave circus". And animal rights activists are outraged. I gotta tell ya folks. This is fantastic! Score one for the commies!

On a side note - Red jumpsuit monkey is clearly more athletic than blue jumpsuit monkey.  Sign him to a long term contract.

Obama and his private barber

His name is Zariff.  He is from Chicago.  We can only presume Zariff is in this country legally.  Obama flies him to D.C. every 10 to 14 days to cut have him cut his hair.  You, as a taxpayer, pay for these flights.  Does that make you angry?




Recommending a website

I'm pretty sure I've recommended this website before.  In the event that I didn't, here it is.  It's called Shorpy and they always have some great photos.  Such as this one, from 1943.

"Mrs. Irene Bracker, mother of two, employed at the
roundhouse as a wiper, Chicago & North Western R.R."


Kenyan Pool Sharks


NYC to ban the Big Gulp

You have got to be kidding me.  Is this the will of the people of NYC?  Really?  I can't imagine it is.  What the hell is wrong with these people?
The proposed ban would affect virtually the entire menu of popular sugary drinks found in delis, fast-food franchises and even sports arenas, from energy drinks to pre-sweetened iced teas. The sale of any cup or bottle of sweetened drink larger than 16 fluid ounces — about the size of a medium coffee, and smaller than a common soda bottle — would be prohibited under the first-in-the-nation plan, which could take effect as soon as next March.
They even made this handy chart...


Well...That's how they roll in NYC.  Out here in the Midwest, we don't cotton to that commie crap.




Mexican Drug Cartel Declares War on Cheetos

Their hands are stained with the orange cheese dust of their enemies...

Mexican drug cartels are not strictly drug cartels. One of their fastest-growing markets is extortion of private citizens and businesses. Don’t pay, and you can be threatened — or worse. But largely, the cartels target small businesses and individuals, and stay away from the larger industries. Now several arson attacks over the weekend against a Mexican snack chip subsidiary might be the first time the cartels have targeted a multinational corporation. 
That corporation would be PepsiCo. According to press reports, masked men attacked five warehouses and vehicle lots on Friday and Saturday nights belonging to the U.S. snack and soft drink giant. More specifically, PepsiCo’s Mexican subsidiary: Sabritas. Dozens of yellow delivery trucks — which transport Sabritas chips and Fritos, Cheetos and Ruffles (among other brands) for the Mexican market — were burned. The good news: No one was injured or killed. At least one member of the Knights Templar cartel was reportedly arrested. Video has also emerged of firefighters battling the blazing trucks and the European Pressphoto Agency released images of Sabritas’ smiley-face mascot illuminated by the flames.

From the we're so damn screwed files

This is from Marvel's own website.

The X-Men, one of the world’s most popular super hero teams, have always been at the forefront of the biggest stories in comic history, and today is no different as Marvel is proud to announce the wedding that has everyone talking! Today, fans worldwide learned on ABC’s "The View" that Jean-Paul Beaubier, aka Northstar, proposes to his boyfriend Kyle Jinadu in ASTONISHING X-MEN #50, on-sale May 23 in comic stores, on the Marvel Comics app and at the Marvel Digital Comics Shop


Spain says bye bye to green energy...

A cautionary tale.  Or just a story you can tell your idiot liberal friend the next time he starts bragging about his Chevy Volt.

Read about it here


Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Payback is a bitchsky

So the Poles are hopping mad that our idiot President misspoke when he referred to "Polish death camps".  No, I don't think it's a big deal.  It's just incompetent, arrogant Barry being incompetent, arrogant Barry.  Any other time, I don't think the Poles would care.  But Obama has screwed them in the past.  Namely his embarrassing the Poles on the missile shield issue.  This is payback.  Deal with it Barry.
President Obama has a long track record of insulting the Poles. In 2010 he chose to play golf on the day of the funeral of the Polish President Lech Kaczynski, the Polish First Lady, and 94 senior officials who perished in the Smolensk air disaster. Eight months earlier he humiliated Warsaw by pulling out of the agreement over Third Site missile defence installations in Poland and the Czech Republic. And last night Barack Obama caused huge offence in Poland by referring to a Nazi death camp in Poland as “a Polish death camp” while awarding the Presidential Medal of Freedom to a Polish resistance fighter.

Rare photos from A-bomb test site

You know, after 4 years of Obama, this doesn't look like such a bad place to live.




See all the photos here

Hot dog etiquette




Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Uh Oh!...McDonald's gonna get a fatwa

Breaking news!!! Muslims are angry.
Saudi Arabians are angry at a McDonald's toy which they say mocks their prophet Muhammad. According to a report appearing today (5/27/12) on the Arabic news website, Kermalkom.com, the McDonald's fast food restaurant "abused the Prophet Muhammad by placing his name at the base of a toy that is being distributed as part of the Happy Meal, a toy which steps on the name 'Muhammad.'"

The toy consists of a blue superhero figurine (apparently a Power Ranger Samurai; click here for pictures). It stands on one leg, and, when the lever is pressed, it pounds on the base with the other leg. According to the Saudis, the designs that appear all around the base, where the figurine stomps its foot, is really the name "Muhammad" written several times in circles.

Super Whacky Muslim Fun Time: Tunisian Dressing Rooms

Bahahahahahahahahaha.....


Thursday, May 24, 2012

A most un-American thing to do...


Would be to overcharge for a hot dog. Hot dogs are the people's food. This country was built on hot dogs. Frankly (no pun intended), I believe that a hot dog should not cost more than a $1.50. Leave it to some hammerhead in California to charge over $100 for a hot dog. Dude...You suck!
Mike Brown, owner of Capitol Dawg in Sacramento, California is set to make history by developing a unique Hot Dog that will be officially certified as the most expensive in the world by Guinness World Records.

A Guinness World Records adjudicator will be at the event to verify the record and issue a GWR certificate. The current official record of the world's most expensive hot dog is $100.00, held by a Canadian hot dog stand. "I want to bring the record back to the USA, where is belongs!" stated an emphatic Mr. Brown.

The hot dog Mr. Brown is creating features a custom made Chicago all beef frank with unique toppings from around the world, including moose cheese from Sweden that is one of the world's most expensive cheeses. Mr. Brown himself, made the trip to Sweden to purchase it.

Mr. Brown said the price of his 18-inch hot dog will be closer to $150.00, and that he will be donating 1/3 of the purchase price to the Shriners Hospital for Children in Northern California.

Charity or not, this is just wrong. You can get this hot dog in Durham, NC for $1.15. It does not come with stinky Swedish moose cheese. But it is damn tasty.



The best barbecue you will ever eat...


is in this gas station...next to the liquor store. Oklahoma Joe's. Don't debate this topic, because there is nothing to debate. It's the best. You're just going to have to take my word for it.




They got my order wrong

I didn't order a bag of dicks.  This must have been Barney Frank's order.


And now, a word from our sponsor...


Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Inverse Proprtionality

Well, no damn wonder we're going to be out-numbered in a few years. With fools like this running loose we are definitely fighting a losing battle.

Too much luck with the ladies has one Tennessee man in a lot of debt. Desmond Hatchett owes money to 11 different women for the 30 children he’s fathered, WREG-TV reported. The 33-year-old is believed to hold the record in Knox County for the most children fathered, the Los Angeles Times reported.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Way too close to home

I used to have that skateboard.  It came from Sears.


And checks this guy out.  Two fine ladies.  He didn't even need an El Camino to get them.


Solving the Hot Dog/Bun Dilemma

Well...We are the internet's best source for news about hot dogs, pole dancers and Islamic rat people.

You threw the ball




Punk-ed

Remember that sweet black angel down in Florida who was viciously stalked and gunned down by an angry white Hipanic supremacist?

Well, turns out little Trayvon was even sweeter than anyone could imagine.

And this is going to trial why again?

Monday, May 14, 2012

Porn Will Destroy Civilization

This guys says so. From Perversion for Profit.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Good news for you "stall guys"

For you gentlemen who lock up when you have to pee next to another guy, the federal government has your back.

It could cost U.S. employers between $2 billion and $4 billion to comply with an obscure Americans with Disabilities Act regulation meant to protect workers who are gun-shy in public restrooms.

According to an informal discussion letter the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission issued in August 2011, “paruresis” — more commonly known as “shy bladder syndrome” — qualifies as a disability under the amended Americans with Disabilities Act.

It's over! The Chinese have won!

Me?  I can make paper footballs.  We're screwed!


Obama the Bully

I mean, he's not a scissor wielding bad ass like Mitt "The Barber" Romney, but this is of note...

Written by his own hand, in his own book.  Why does Barry hate females?


Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Beleaguered Duty

Again I remind you that this is a blog that is sometimes about hot dogs, so it my sacrosanct duty to bring you the Hot Dog Hooker.


EAST MEADOW, N.Y. (CBSNewYork)

“I’ll be back out there with my bikini top on, selling my hot dogs. I’m right in front of Pep Boys on Baldwin in Freeport. I have loads of customers, everybody loves me, nobody has a problem,” Scalia declared to reporters.

Police arrested Scalia last week and charged her with prostitution, saying an undercover cop went to her hot dog truck and then her home for a sex act.

However, Scalia denied she sold sex to the police officer and said he got a lap dance before police arrived at the scene and arrested her, 1010 WINS’ Mona Rivera reported.


Trust me, she is more dog than hot and you shouldn't get anywhere near her buns.

Empty Head Start

This is the official description of the Head Start program from the Office of Head Start:

Head Start is a federal program that promotes the school readiness of children ages birth to 5 from low-income families by enhancing their cognitive, social and emotional development.

Apparently however, Head Start does nothing to improve the emotional development of the relatives of Head Start students.

Via WJTV.com:

HATTIESBURG, Miss.
 
Authorities are searching for a man accused of stabbing a relative during an altercation that started at the PACE Head Start graduation at the University of Southern Mississippi.

Head Start Director Peggy Ainsworth told the Hattiesburg American that she was not aware of the incident at the time it occurred.

Southern Miss Police Chief Bob Hopkins said authorities have identified the suspect and will release his name when a warrant is obtained for his arrest.

Hopkins said a fight between the suspect and the relative started about 11 a.m. Tuesday inside Reed Green Coliseum. Police broke up the fight, but it resumed outside the building. The suspect then allegedly cut the other man in the face with a knife.

I wonder if they have Head Start in prison?  Calling President Obama!



Hey Al?

You are pathetic.

Not only are you pathetic, you are a doody-head!

On his MSNBC program today Al Sharpton played a video his network put together that used child actors to knock Mitt Romney. Using scripted remarks

“I got to thinking how these GOP candidates really act like a bunch of little kids that just can’t play nice together. In fact, today, we enlisted some of New York’s finest young actors to give us a dramatic reading on how this endorsement process has gone,” Sharpton said, explaining how the segment was thought up.

This only goes to highlight the immaturity of the left when it comes to discussion of the serious issues facing this country.  Liberals don't want to have that discussion because they realize that the suffocation of prosperity in the United States is directly related to the policies they have enacted via legislation, executive fiat and bureaucratic whimsy.

Avoid.  Avoid.  Avoid.

I'll just remind Al of something that he should clearly know as a "reverend":


When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” - John 8:7

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Over and Out

Give me a vector, Victor.

Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton told reporters Tuesday that terrorists keep trying to come up with “more and more perverse and terrible ways to kill innocent people” after a plot by al-Qaida's affiliate in Yemen to bomb a U.S.-bound airliner was foiled by the CIA.

But I thought the "War on Terror" was over, Sweetcheeks?  Maybe Hillary, if you spent more time without makeup on while in public, you could horrify some jihadis to death with your mug.

Distraction?

We don't need no stinkin' distractions!


What we need is more Julia Orayon!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Yo Hillary...Can I catch a ride?

My first reaction, last week, to this guy's story was that this was a setup, by the Chinese government, to make America look bad.  Knowing that the Obama administration is too gutless to do anything.  Now...I think it might have just been an elaborate ploy by the "dissident" to get a little private time with Commander Cankles.
Chen says he now wants to leave China as soon as possible: “My fervent hope is that it would be possible for me and my family to leave for the U.S. on Hillary Clinton’s plane.”
Does anyone else think 70's porn star when they see this guy?

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Your Government

Trust your government?  Yeah right!  Not on your life, Bucko!


In a brazen criminal scheme to defraud taxpayers, one of the highest-ranking officials in the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency pleaded guilty Tuesday in federal court to helping embezzle more than $500,000 from the federal government.

Over three years, James Woosley and at least five other ICE employees scammed the agency by fabricating expenses for trips that were never taken and for hotel, rental car and restaurant expenses that did not exist, according to court records.

I'm am so astoundingly mad that it is possible I am speechless.

Flappy


Thunked

Momma always told Forrest Gump that "stupid is as stupid does."

Let me introduce you to Stupid:


47-year-old Belinda Berloni admitted to MyFoxTampaBay that, in hindsight, it was a "stupid idea" to tow her granddaughter behind her SUV by attaching the child's toy car to a dog leash tied to the car.

Didn't these people ever see National Lampoon's Vacation?

Poles

Sometimes this blog is about pole dancers.



C'mon man, you've got five minutes to waste.  It's not like you are working today and it's a helluva lot safer than smashing windows of restaurants to protest the banking industry or some such nonsense.

Happy May Day

Besides the celebration of the underworked and overpaid on this first day of May, other important events have happened, for example, in the year 1006 the Chinese and Egyptians observed a supernova in the constellation Lupus.

About 15 minutes ago I observed this supernova.


I love my work.

Your Other Right

Are these those right wing Christian extremists that the Department of Homeland Security and Mr. Napolitano have been warning us about?


The official said that during the investigation, several of the suspects repeatedly complained that the Occupy Wall Street movement, which had spread to other cities from New York, wasn’t violent enough.

And how many bridges have the Tea Party tried to explode?