Hippies Sign Petition to Ban Water

Ha ha! Stupid hippies.

Knee-Jerk Liberal Springsteen Now Regrets He Signed Multi-Million Dollar Deal with Wal-Mart

Bruce is finding that his hippie street cred is virtually non-existent being that he has so much money in his pocket. Who you trying to fool Bruce? You knew exactly what you were doing. You wanted to make lots of money. There's no shame in that.

The Boss is owning up to a mistake. In an interview with Sunday's New York Times, Bruce Springsteen says he shouldn't have made a deal with Wal-Mart. This month, the store started exclusively selling a Springsteen greatest hits CD.

Some fans were critical because Springsteen has been a longtime supporter of worker's rights, and Wal-Mart has faced criticism for its labor practices.

Springsteen told the Times that his team didn't vet the issue as closely as he should have, and that he "dropped the ball on it."

Springsteen went on to say: "It was a mistake. Our batting average is usually very good, but we missed that one. Fans will call you on that stuff, as it should be."

You know, it's not like this is the first time Bruce has sold out.

Hippies Claiming that WiFi is Interfering with their Chakras

In the words of Eric Cartman, "hippies piss me off".

The new-age residents of Glastonbury are up in arms about the council's deployment of WiFi, claiming the wireless networks are interfering with their chakras and generally getting them down.

The news comes courtesy of The Telegraph, which reports local hippies are up in arms (well, placidly protesting) about the already-deployed network which they claim is interfering with local ley lines and damaging their health despite their deployment of Orgone-based generators: to absorb the negative energy obviously.

The network was deployed in May and cost the council £34,000 with the hope of helping business and encouraging tourism, but local new-agers are complaining of the usual headaches and hard-to-pin-down symptoms that are endemic where wireless technologies have received sufficient publicity - though strangely absent where publicity hasn't been so forthcoming.

Hippie Graveyard Rejected by Neighbors

A resounding defeat of a very stupid hippie idea:

Elizabeth Collins, a gardener, birdwatcher and a self-described "renaissance woman," wanted to start a "natural" cemetery where bodies would be buried without embalming, coffins or vaults.

She and a partner bought a plot of land here and wrote a business plan that identified pagans, "old hippies," penny pinchers, environmentalists and Muslims -- who traditionally bury the dead without caskets -- as their target market. There would be room for 7,500 customers. Dead pets would be welcome, too.

The idea didn't sit well with the living.

Many residents in this socially conservative rural patch of central Georgia worried the cemetery would contaminate their water supply. Some also objected in principle to unconventional burial practices.

So on Nov. 4, the Macon-Bibb County commissioners killed the cemetery plan by voting in a new ordinance that requires a "leak-proof casket or vault" for burials. It became one of the first legal moves against a growing brand of environmentalism that is entering the graveyard.

Down the road from the proposed burial ground, Cherrie Mittmann was stewing. Like most of her neighbors, Ms. Mittmann, a 59-year-old housecleaner, draws water from a well on her property. She worried that decomposing remains would leach into the aquifer feeding the well, and that animals would dig up unboxed bodies. Ms. Mittmann says she has no proof that either scenario would play out, but doesn't want to wonder what her dog might be holding in its maw. Natural-cemetery advocates say stories of animals digging up human remains are little more than urban myths.

JON VOIGHT HATES HIPPIES

Squeal like a pig you birkenstock wearing dirtbags.

VOIGHT: My concerns for America
Obama sowing socialist seeds in young people

We, as parents, are well aware of the importance of our teachers who teach and program our children. We also know how important it is for our children to play with good-thinking children growing up.

Sen. Barack Obama has grown up with the teaching of very angry, militant white and black people: the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Louis Farrakhan, William Ayers and Rev. Michael Pfleger. We cannot say we are not affected by teachers who are militant and angry. We know too well that we become like them, and Mr. Obama will run this country in their mindset.

The Democratic Party, in its quest for power, has managed a propaganda campaign with subliminal messages, creating a God-like figure in a man who falls short in every way. It seems to me that if Mr. Obama wins the presidential election, then Messrs. Farrakhan, Wright, Ayers and Pfleger will gain power for their need to demoralize this country and help create a socialist America.

The Democrats have targeted young people, knowing how easy it is to bring forth whatever is needed to program their minds. I know this process well. I was caught up in the hysteria during the Vietnam era, which was brought about through Marxist propaganda underlying the so-called peace movement. The radicals of that era were successful in giving the communists power to bring forth the killing fields and slaughter 2.5 million people in Cambodia and South Vietnam. Did they stop the war, or did they bring the war to those innocent people? In the end, they turned their backs on all the horror and suffering they helped create and walked away.

Those same leaders who were in the streets in the '60s are very powerful today in their work to bring down the Iraq war and to attack our president, and they have found their way into our schools. William Ayers is a good example of that.

Thank God, today, we have a strong generation of young soldiers who know exactly who they are and what they must do to protect our freedom and our democracy. And we have the leadership of Gen. David Petraeus, who has brought hope and stability to Iraq and prevented the terrorists from establishing a base in that country. Our soldiers are lifting us to an example of patriotism at a time when we've almost forgotten who we are and what is at stake.

If Mr. Obama had his way, he would have pulled our troops from Iraq years ago and initiated an unprecedented bloodbath, turning over that country to the barbarianism of our enemies. With what he has openly stated about his plans for our military, and his lack of understanding about the true nature of our enemies, there's not a cell in my body that can accept the idea that Mr. Obama can keep us safe from the terrorists around the world, and from Iran, which is making great strides toward getting the atomic bomb. And while a misleading portrait of Mr. Obama is being perpetrated by a media controlled by the Democrats, the Obama camp has sent out people to attack the greatness of Sen. John McCain, whose suffering and courage in a Hanoi prison camp is an American legend.

Gen. Wesley Clark, who himself has shame upon him, having been relieved of his command, has done their bidding and become a lying fool in his need to demean a fellow soldier and a true hero.

This is a perilous time, and more than ever, the world needs a united and strong America. If, God forbid, we live to see Mr. Obama president, we will live through a socialist era that America has not seen before, and our country will be weakened in every way.

HOMELESS MAN'S BEATING SHAKES UP HIPPIE HAVEN

All we are saying...is give peace a chance...

Ricky Green wandered into this town some months ago, a stranger just a bit stranger than most.

He had shed his middle-class respectability -- a job as a graphic artist in the 'burbs -- strapped a guitar over his shoulder and landed on what he told people was "a spiritual journey."

Bolinas seemed like a good fit.

The unincorporated town of 1,600 on the Pacific coast is Marin County's most blatant throwback to the Summer of Love, a hippie haven that is bent on stopping tourists from spoiling its laid-back groove.

The 33-year-old, prone to age of Aquarius-speak about the moon and the stars, already looked sort of like a local.

As one resident, Bill Boman, put it, "he had this Jimi Hendrix vibe."

But Green never quite meshed with the Bolinas social fabric. The night of June 23 proved how much he remained an outsider in a liberal enclave stubbornly averse to strangers.

Six young people, including two juveniles, are said to have attacked and stabbed Green with a viciousness that is forcing Bolinas to search its soul for meaning.

The other day, fresh out of the hospital, Green was spotted back in town. (He proved elusive, always a step ahead of visitors trying to find him.) Many folks weren't happy to see him.

The attack underscores what advocates for homeless people say is a growing problem across the country: attacks on society's most vulnerable members, almost as sport, especially by young people.

The typical attack involves a mob of youths that beats a homeless person with blunt objects, sometimes setting the person on fire, Stoops said.

Bolinas wears its xenophobia proudly. For decades, a group known as the Bolinas Border Patrol has torn down all signs pointing the way to the enclave from Highway 1. But now, some wonder whether Bolinas' inbred hostility to outsiders exploded the night of Green's attack.

Others are pondering whether the attack means that Bolinas, despite its barefoot youth, loose-roaming dogs and ponytailed, tie-dyed 60-year-olds, is more like the rest of society than it wanted to admit.

That thought is especially jarring. Bolinas fancies itself special. The town keeps a "free box" outside the natural foods store for anyone to donate or pick up clothes or household items. A few years ago, it passed a ballot measure officially declaring itself "a socially acknowledged, nature-loving town" that likes blueberries, bears and skunks. The town saloon has the word "peace" outside, written in seashells.

I really hate hippies.