Beats Me

Recently, Beatrice and I went to the circus. The Greatest Show On Earth©, The Ringling Brothers/Barnum and Bailey Circus! Yay circus!

Anyway, we saw lions and tigers, no bears (oh my!), plenty of clowns and performers, acrobatics, explosions and singing. Frankly, I had a wonderful time, because like all other grown men on the planet, I'm just a big dumb kid inside too. And the five children with us, well they had an awesome and mouth-gaping good time also. Most, if not all, had never been to the circus before and it was fulfilling to witness the raw impact of such a scene in their little faces.

Here are seven Central Americans riding their mini-motorcycles in a giant steel cage at 25 miles per hour. . .


We were able to enter the show early and have a walk through of some of the animal performers, of which my favorites, besides the goats that ride on the backs of ponies. . .


. . .are the elephants.

Docile, intelligent animals, curious in their mannerisms and interactions with one another, seeing one of God's greatest and most unusual creatures so close and personal was an infinite joy, especially for someone like me who harbors a great love for all creatures great and small. Except cockroaches.

In the end, after spending over $150 dollars per person for tickets, food, flying whirligigs, drinks, miscellaneous crapola, I walked away from the circus feeling elated, entertained and sorta like the child I used to be. That is until I saw an article and undercover PETA video the following week of stupid, brain damaged and incompetent trainers abusing the elephants. Party is over folks, the circus is dead.

After seeing those vile human beings abusing the most delightful and emotional creatures on the planet for no good reason, I find myself in the curious conundrum of agreeing with PETA for the first time in my life. I think half my brain just died saying that. But really, there is no excuse for the acts of these sub-human shit-shovelers, and whatever may become of them, in this life or the thereafter, I hope it involves pain and a lot of it.

In my disappointment, I fired off an angry letter to the current owners of the Ringling Brothers bonanza demanding that this insanity must end. I am sure I am one of a vast number of people who have written and the impact may be negligible because apparently Ringling Brothers/Feld Entertainment have been in trouble for this before. Many times actually.

Feld and the powers that be have spent enormous sums of money in supposed improvements for the lives and well-being of the circus animals, but still the show must go on. And maybe I wouldn't be so upset about the whole ideal if it weren't for the pre-programmed, piped-in propaganda we were subjected to during the viewing of the animals. Lots of horse hockey about how well the animals are cared for, the lengths that Ringling goes to in ensuring the safety, the health and nurturing of the performance animals. Bullshit! Your people beat on them. Who gives a left nut about the comfortable, climate-controlled train if you are beating the shit out of your animals! Tigers don't care about air conditioning, they want steak and to not be beaten!

Now that I think about it, I'm as much of a people watcher as I am an animal watcher and the ill demeanor of the handlers in this pre-show viewing was readily apparent. I saw many faces of disgust and less than careful handling of some of the animals by the so-called "trainers." Looked like a horde of very bored and ungrateful slobs who care nothing for their charges and are simply drawing a paycheck as they "see the world."

In the end, I have decided that the circus will no longer draw another red cent out of my pocket. And the children are disappointed also, but in their tiny, developing minds they understand. They too are disgusted, express confusion and do not understand why anyone would want to abuse those glorious animals. The illusion of the circus has been shattered for them forever.

I reflect on the following picture and I realize the problem, oh yes, I realize in spades, even the circus is corrupted with indisdious, liberal idiots. That is the problem. They are everywhere, ruin everything they touch, even the circus.


But maybe Barack the elephant can bring them all together in harmony one day. Possibly by crashing his giant head through their weak and empty-hearted thoraxes. Too much to ask?