Friday, April 1, 2011

Eat Me!

And I mean it with all of my blood thirsty meat eating heart.


PETA, also known as a certifiable insane asylum, er, non-profit (bullshit!) organization dedicated to paying themselves handsome salaries protecting the rights of animals and other creatures like mole crickets and such have asked the city of San Francisco to change the name of the Tenderloin District to something more animal friendly like Kiss My Lily-White Ass Park Tempeh District.

From the letter, penned by 11-year old executive vice-president Tracy Reiman:

It’s true that the Tenderloin echoes vice and corruption and that slaughterhouses are constantly found to be in violation of the law and more. But now’s the perfect time to put the city’s past in the deep freeze. San Francisco is now renowned for some of the best vegan cuisine in the world, and the city deserves a neighborhood named after a delicious cruelty-free food instead of the flesh of an abused animal. If Tempeh doesn’t excite you, how about Granola Flats or Seitan’s Lair? You could even run a contest to choose a veggie moniker.

Let's just get down to brass tacks Ms. Reiman, if we didn't control the population of animals such as cows and pigs, guess what? They'd be eating all of your precious soybeans and you would starve to death in a very painful and slow method and no amount of sidewalk nakedness will save you. Eating animals is necessary. Killing animals is necessary. White-washing the past of America with your insane ideas is not. However, I have a suggestion for a new name. . .how about "Salad Toss Central" or "Let's Beat Meat Together District." That would probably be more acceptable to the denizens of San Francisco.

Or, maybe PETA could just erect a bronze statue of a monkey riding a giant penis, it makes about as much sense.

More delicious meat:



Yes, I live.  And you're welcome.

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