Top 10 Kevin Jennings Pick Up Lines

10. Is that a condom in your pocket, or are you just happy I’m with NAMBLA?

9. Come with me to the janitor’s closet, son; I want to show you my tool.

8. You remind me of a dreamy 15-year-old I once knew.

7. Are you 16? You look so delicious I’d swear you were 15.

6. Bring a condom. I’ll show you how safe your school can be.

5. Did I ever tell you how interesting it is to be queerly raised from kindergarten?

4. I’d like to subvert you after class, son.

3. Fisting gets a bad rap. It’s just my way of exploring you closely.

2. Hey, kid. Wanna hit? It’ll free your mind, and open your pants for me.

1. Say hello to my little friend. It’ll put a smile on your face for two years.

Cross-posted at Feed Your ADHD.