***BIG FEED NEWS ALERT!!!***

The next Mrs Blah Blah has been found!



This has been a Big Feed News Alert.

Eyes Wide Shut

. . .was an awful movie.

Also though, it's almost how I feel when I read the headlines of the news today.  It's as if I have descended through a infinite wormhole of unimaginable distortions when I read stories like the people who have named their child Hashtag.  Why not Hashbrown?  Or Chili-Willie Baconface?

I take a deep breath and sigh and try my best to move on to other important and equally stupefying events like. . .

. . .trying to quantify in my head how the residents of the 2nd Congressional District of Illinois can re-elect a mentally unstable potential criminal who has since resigned and waiting in the wings to possibly replace him is another criminal who likes to molest 16-year old children and commit bank fraud.

I drink a little coffee while I digest that absurd notion, but then I recall that. . .

. . .voters in Michigan tossed out Thaddeus McCotter from Congress for a guy who once said in a deposition that he wasn't sure whether he was himself or Santa Claus.  And other voters in Michigan, in Detroit by no big surprise, elected an eight-time convicted felon to a state house seat.

I flip the channel. . .

. . .only to find that mentioning the word "cornfield" in front of Nicki Minja or whatever she calls herself is some kind of racist affront to black people even though the cornfield comment was about a white Jew from Minnesota.  Who watches American Idol anyways?  And to add cream on that cherry, everyone's favorite race-baiter on MSNBC declares that there is no such thing as a race card.

America where are you?  Is it time to bring back the poll tax?  A literacy test?  How about we nuke the east and west coasts and those of us who have the brain power to make competent decisions for ourselves can just huddle somewhere around South Dakota to wait out the nuclear winter and hopefully emerge into a new paradigm of personal responsibility, education, family and small government that is answerable to the people who elect it.

Otherwise, I'm moving to. . . . ........I dunno. . .the following map of Ecuador looks inviting enough. . .

Map of Ecuador

Flying the Colors

Operation Red, White and Blue was an undercover police control designed to capture dog-ass- walking-backward ugly people on the streets of Jackson and guess what?  Success!!

Meet a local prostitute:

And you might remember Willen Frelix from an earlier post about this subject.  Well, he/she/it has been busy little thing since the new 'do and all. . .

Click here for more scary people of Jackson.  I'm glad I live 35 miles away out in the sticks because my hometown is falling apart at the seams.

Pissed

Apparently what is good for me is not for thee or some such horseshit. Basically, it boils down to if you are a liberal it's an anything goes free love kinda world.  If you are a conserv.......Nazi!  Misogynist!  Racist!  Blah-blabeddy-blah-blah-blah.

And although I think Glen Beck is a very likeable person but also a very strange and rare bird, he's got a pretty goddamn good point here:

On Tuesday evening, Glenn Beck featured an Obama bobble head doll in a jar of yellow liquid, meant as a parody of the controversial “artwork” that defaced a crucifix in a glass of urine. Beck’s piece was meant to  highlight the hypocrisy of those who rail against disparaging figures who they hold dear, but do not hold themselves to the same standard when disparaging figures others hold dear.

This kind of reminds me of the days after the first time America tried to collectively kill itself by voting this unqualified doofus into office when I stepped into a portable toilet on a jobite and someone had scrawled on the back wall of the john over the toilet seat "Obama action figures" and a giant down arrow

Poopiehead!

Ka-bang!

Ponderous

Just something to look at. . .

Bang Bang Ur Ded

People who know nothing about guns shouldn't try to interfere with those that do.  It's just that simple.

However, I do believe a new sport has been invented.

Police are investigating an incident at a Berks County hunting club in which someone on the hunting grounds allegedly targeted a mechanical flying object rather than a living and breathing one.

SHowing Animals Respect and Kindness (SHARK) are in the midst of a campaign against the Wing Pointe commercial hunting grounds in Hamburg, Berks County and its live pigeon shoots in which the birds are shot down. SHARK began to use an “Octocopter,” a remote controlled flying machine with a high tech video camera, to secretly record the pigeon shoots as they happen.

[...]

SHARK claimed “a single sharp rifle crack rang out,” in a press release sent out on Monday. The group says the camera’s video feed was terminated and the drone went out of control before it was manually brought down. The gunshot caused around $4,000 in damage to the camera, according to SHARK.

 Rifles at a pigeon shoot?  Puh-leeze.

The last of the .50 cent nutty bars

From time to time, I stop by the convenience store on the way home and get a big soda and a Little Debbie Nutty Bar.  For as many years as I can remember, those nutty bars have been .50 cents.  Yesterday, I found out they are now .75 cents.  There was one .50 cent nutty bar left.  I bought it, but the knowledge of the now present inflation kept me from enjoying it.

Fuck you Obama!

A Call for Help

Go here and help.

I used to read Bunni's website when she was heavy into the conservative politics, but then some thoughtless mongoloids began harassing her and she reverted to her cute videos and such. I don't know her and I'm sure you don't either, but I can tell you that her heart was always in the right place.

Donate and pray, it's about all we can do. I did and you can too.

¡Vamanos!

When considering a move to a foreign country, which at the moment seems like a grand idea since our country is apparently populated by fools, takers, and morons, one should consider many things but what I usually consider first is a country's terrain.

Let's take look at this map of Colombia:

Map of Colombia

From this map I can discern that there are at least two individual mountain ranges that might harbor an infinite variety of extra-curricular activities and a fertile, flat lowland ripe for production.  The coastline appears varied and healthy and I see a nice place to do some motorboating.

Obverse view:

 Map of Colombia, obverse view

This view indicates a deep crevasse in which one could do some climbing or even some spelunking if that's your thing.  I would imagine I could spend many hours investigating the flora and fauna of this area.

Anyway, I think I'm moving to Colombia not just for the terrain but because I am sick of feeling like we are just stupid, unthinking animals being led to slaughter by other stupid, unthinking animals.

Content

Content and discontent.

The Hangover

It would be one thing to wake up hungover in Vegas and realize that you got married on a whim.

It's a whole 'nother hangover to wake up 20 years later and realize you've been married to this the whole time:

Reap the Reward

It is frustrating enough that the clowns are running the circus, but how many more times do we have to slit our own throats to kill the beast?

Fox 32 Chicago:

Sources tell Fox 32 News that congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. is willing to give up his 2nd congressional seat if he's given disability when he steps down.

Jackson Jr. was re-elected to his tenth term but last month, sources say, he applied for a disability package--what could be his only income if he resigns. It is expected to take a couple of weeks for congress to approve or deny the request.

This house on 72nd Street is part of the federal government's investigation into allegations that Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. misused campaign funds. Sources say Jackson allegedly spent $20,000 to renovate and buy furniture for the family's home in Chicago, not their 5-bedroom Victorian home in Washington D.C.

The basement in the Chicago home has five televisions and a number of printers and copying machines, sources say. Most of the equipment was purchased in the mid-90's when Jackson was first elected, but because of flooding a couple of years ago, most, if not all, was replaced.

Trust

I've been reading a lot of articles about the 99% and 100% Obama voting in some heavily democratic urban districts across the US, and although not surprising, it still gives me pause concerning the validity of our election process.

I mean, we can't even draw district maps correctly, much less trust an unwieldy election system that is obviously corrupted in many ways.  And don't even mention voter identification laws as all such chatter is just raaaaacccciiiissssttt!

Sign me up for secession man.  And if that doesn't work and this economy suffers another four years of misguided financial decision making from our lawmakers, then maybe I'l just disappear back into the wilds of Central America.  Sometimes I sure do miss that place.

Sad

I have nothing to add to this story other than I heard the crash as the plane went down about two miles from my office.  Very sad indeed.

Three pilots flying together to a federal safety conference died when their single-engine plane faltered in midair and crashed into a house that went up in flames.

The three men had just taken off from Hawkins Field Airport in Jackson on Tuesday when a witness said the Piper PA-32 began "spitting and sputtering."

The witness, a Jackson police officer, saw the plane sputtering like it was out of fuel, he would later tell the plane's owner - a budding pilot whose own life was spared when he decided to go deer hunting instead of flying. 

The men on board were headed to a Federal Aviation Administration safety conference less than 30 miles away.

 God bless the families of everyone involved.

Screwed

I'm drunk.

What about y'all?





Celebrate the new faction!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Yeah right

Forward indeed.

Do you know what the difference is between our president and the high band antenna that's in this box?

The antenna has been proven to work.

How damn stupid is America?

?

Bottoms Up!

I don't ever drink during the week, but today is a special day and I like to be prepared. I'll be good and liquored up to celebrate if Romney wins or too drunk to give a shit if Obama pulls it out somehow.

Yes, bringing up the rear are two okra, an onion, a bottle of tabasco, and a kitty cat spoon dish.

By the way, you'll notice that I have no limes and that's because limes are for pussies. Drink your tequila como un hombre.

Singular

I was the one-man wrecking crew today on the blog, I hope I posted information worthy and entertaining.  Now it is time to go home, hunker down, break out the beer and popcorn to watch the returns with my trusty lady and trusty piece by my side.

Everyone get out there and vote.  The worst thing you can do is not participate.  Voting for someone, even the other team, is worse than not voting at all.

Have a good evening everyone.  With some luck, some odds and perhaps a little divine intervention we will wake up tomorrow from our long national nightmare of Barack Obama.

Shake it, don't break it America.  Goodnight!

Truth Squad

Seems that Fox news is the only mainstream news outlet reporting on the voting irregularities today.  I screen grabbed Fox, ABC, NBC (really MSNBC) and CNN for a little compare and contrast.  CNN actually had the balls to run a photo of an elderly woman voting beneath an inconsequential mural.

They have no souls.  Click to make large the truth. . .

 Fox News

CNN

NBC (MSNBC)

ABC

Pole Position

And no, I'm not talking about election polls.

The Jackson Police Department (a corrupt organization itself) recently conducted a sting on vice and prostitution on Jackson's streets and in strip clubs. 

Naturally, the pole dancers were not exactly top shelf ladies, but what is even scarier are the prostitutes caught on the street.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mr., or possibly, Ms. Willen Frelix,  Yes, Willen Frelix.  Say it reeeeeallllll slow. . .get it?

Meanings

We poke a good bit of fun at liberals on this blog simply because they are so reactionary and stupid.

Case in point:

A woman wearing an MIT t-shirt was barred from voting Florida, according to a local report. MIT stands for the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, not Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney.

"A woman attempting to vote in West Boca Raton this morning was initially prohibited from entering the polling place because she was wearing a tee shirt with the letters MIT," BocaNewsNow.com reports. 

"BocaNewsNow.com has heard from multiple sources that an election supervisor at the polling place ultimately realized that MIT stands for “Massachusetts Institute of Technology” — a school where students tend to know how to spell — and was not a campaign shirt for the Republican candidate, who spells his name MITT. Campaigning is not permitted within several yards of a polling place."

Fortuntaly, the woman was ultimately allowed to vote. "The woman was ultimately allowed to vote," the local report reads.

Don't you?

Don't you feel the Republican excitement?

Excitement!

I tried to write a post yesterday about how I feel like the "silent majority" is going to step up in this election to handily defeat Barack Obama and his minions from Chicago, but yesterday I just couldn't get my head wrapped around any cogent statements to support that prediciton.  Still don't have any today, but it is what I believe.

And if it is a landslide. . .well, this is what I am going to feel like on the inside:

Stinky

Badges?  We don't need no stinkin' badges.

With this kind of crap happening regularly during the election, just imagine what tomorrow brings with it's post-Obama hangover.

The Truth Hurts

Disgraceful

A letter from U.S. Senate Canidate Wendy Long:

"This morning when I went to vote, a poll worker who was at the scanner, studied my private ballot and proceeded to tell me that it was rejected because I did not 'fill in every space.' She then proceeded to indicate that I should mark the Democratic line all the way down.   

The poll worker said, 'you have to fill in all of THESE, all the way down," indicating the whole line at the far left of the ballot, saying 'you can't leave any blank.'" 

I said, "I'm sorry, but that just can't be the case .... that would force me to vote for people I don't want to vote for."  She insisted again, that every office had to be filled out or the ballot would be rejected. And I said again "I don't want to vote for those people!"

I protested again and said that I wanted to feed my ballot into the scanner as I had filled it out. She eventually relented  saying 'well you can TRY it'  -- meaning she would allow me to put it in the scanner.   

It obviously worked. 

I had just remarked to all the poll workers, before I filled in my ballot, that we were all very fortunate to have heat and water and electricity. 

It is heartbreaking, especially in these trying times for New York City with thousands of voters displaced from their homes and their polling locations, that poll workers would behave in this way, and through intent or ignorance, work to distort the outcome of an election and violate an individual’s right to vote for whomever he or she chooses. 

I urge all voters to know your rights when you vote. 

You can ask for help in how to operate the scanner, but your ballot is private and cannot and should not be inspected. 

You do not have to vote in every office, or fill in every oval.  Vote only for the candidates whom YOU want to vote for. 

Finally, question authority - poll workers are there to help you to vote, not to tell you how vote.  If one crosses the line, contact the Attorney General’s Office or your local Board of Elections."

Voter ID

In my small town I waited over an hour to vote this morning.  Not a big deal really, and it was sort of nice watching the neighbors be neighborly and people greeting one another with smiles and handshakes.  The line moved slowly, but I eventually made it to the voter roll table where I announced my last name to the unfriendly gentlemen seated with the rolls.  He flipped page after page after page until he landed on the letter he was looking for.  I spotted my full name before he found my last name and I said, "That's me at the top."

I did the same thing last election and the election before that.  I always tell them my last name and point at my name when I see it before they've even had a chance to find the last name I've told them.  If I weren't an honest person I could very easily be committing voter fraud.

It would be all too simple to pick a random last name and then point at it claiming that it is me.  They have no recourse to verify that I am not who I say I am.  As long as that person hasn't voted already I would be home free.

Thank goodness I'm an honest person who believes in fair elections aka a "racist."

I'm a racist very much unlike this "election judge" in Chicago who feels like it is ok to wear Obama campaign propaganda while checkng people in to vote.

Vote!

Woke up to this*. . .

to go tolerate this. . .





. . .so I could get this. . .






. . .go vote. This is our last chance to save our Republic.

(*Stephanie, please call me. I need to discuss a terrible situation I'm having with my cumulodingus)

Big Bird Turd

Hypocrit much, Mr. Axelrod?

Wouldn't expect anything less from a heartless comrade of the corrupt Chicago political machine.

Get Out and Vote!

The polls seem to be tightening.  I can't understand why.  I'm sorry, but Americans, collectively, are idiots and suicidal.  How this thing can even be close is beyond me.

This was written almost 200 years ago.

“A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largesse from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits from the public treasury with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship. The average age of the world's greatest civilizations has been 200 years.” ― Alexis de Tocqueville

I think we're already there.

Face Pubes

Recently, David Axelrod made some kind of wager on television that if Obama lost a particular state, or maybe the election overall, he would then shave off his mustache.  Whatever dude.  Paint your balls pink and go fuck a football while you're at it.

You might think that this is a one-and-done type of story, just some bloviating by a campaign surrogate who gets paid to bloviate.  But wait, it gets better, enter. . .the American Mustache Institute. . .

. . .this is almost too dumb to report but. . .

"There are very few people in positions of power who are mustached Americans, so for he to even jest about removing his lip sweater is somewhat offensive to the entire American mustached community," he says.

Perlut also cautioned the senior advisor to review the Dead Sea Scrolls, a section of which he claims says every time a mustache is shaved, an angel dies and falls down to earth. Whispers was not able to confirm this to be true.

Seriously?  Lip sweater?

Oh just wait, the stupidity is paramount in this organization.  They have sponsored a bill for a tax deduction related to facial hair grooming.

America, my dear lovely America, what has happened to you?