FRENCH PEASANTS REVOLT...AGAINST EACH OTHER

I took French in high school...One man is arguing for hope...The other is arguing for change.

OBAMA GOES TO FRANCE: DOESN'T SPEAK FRENCH

You might remember this from a couple of weeks ago:

While campaigning in Georgia, the Illinois senator had called for Americans to learn more foreign languages.

"It's embarrassing when Europeans come over here, they all speak English, they speak French, they speak German," he had said. "And then we go over to Europe and all we can say is 'merci beaucoup.'"

So Obama goes to Paris, and he doesn't speak French. The douchebag embarrassed the whole country.

OBAMA KEEPS IT REAL AT TOWN HALL MEETING: EXPLAINS HE IS EMBARRASSED BY AMERICANS

Obama keeping it real:

At his Georgia town hall meeting, Obama cautioned kids not to drop out of school to pursue a far-fetched dream. Addressing a mostly African American crowd outside Atlanta, Obama joked, “You can’t find a job unless you are a really, really good basketball player. Which most of you brothers are not. I know you think you are. But you’re not. You are overrated in your own mind. You will not play in the NBA. You are probably not that good a rapper. Maybe you are the next Little Wayne, but probably not. In which case you need to stay in school.”

Oh Hims just tellin' it like it T I is. Word. You brothers need to stay in school fool. Unless you actually are a good rapper. Then, you know, hang with the bitches and ho's.

On a roll, Obama then said they’d be much more employable if they know a foreign language, and said we should be emphasizing foreign language study in classrooms. “It’s embarrassing when Europeans come over here, they all speak English, they speak French, they speak German. And then we go over to Europe and all we can say is merci beaucoup.”

WTF? Your "brothers" can hardly speak English and you're pimping French to them?

MUSLIM RACISTS HUMILIATE WHITE FRENCH PEOPLE

Granted, they only did this to a woman and a boy. But given the performance of French men in the past, I'm not sure the outcome would have been different. Fight you frogs...Fight!

THE COUPLE WHO HUNTED VIRGINS

French gothic...

Michel Fourniret, a diminutive, bespectacled man, was dubbed the "Ogre of Ardennes" for the crimes he committed alongside his grey-haired wife, Monique.

He has been found guilty of murdering seven girls and women aged between 12 and 22 from 1987 onwards. By his own admission, however, he has killed more - strangling, shooting or stabbing his victims with a screwdriver.

From their chateau on the forested border region between France and Belgium the pair would head out in their small van, sometimes with their baby son in the vehicle, looking for victims.

Monique Oliver and Michel Fourniret had signed a criminal pact: she pledged to help him find the young women he sought; he, in return, promised that he would kill her former husband.

But only Monique carried out her role, presenting the picture of domesticity that lured young women into trusting the couple.

Prosecutors said Fourniret was "obsessed" with virgins. Monique, meanwhile, defended her actions, saying her husband manipulated and terrified her. "The fear was constant, it lived within me" she told the court.

The 66-year-old Fourniret, a forest warden, first made contact with Monique while he was in detention, awaiting trial for a sex crime. He is reported to have placed an advert in a Catholic magazine for a pen-pal. She replied and they began a correspondence. When he left prison, in 1987, they moved in together in a house in the south of Paris, before later purchasing the castle surrounded by woods in France's Ardennes region, near the border with Belgium.

The killing spree began just two months after Fourniret was released. Monique reportedly later told police that her role had been to "hunt virgins" for her husband.

Travelling in their van, the couple approached 17-year-old Isabelle Laville, who was on her way home from school. Under the pretence of asking her directions, they managed to persuade her to travel with them to show them the way. Her remains were found at the bottom of a well almost two decades later.

A year later, 20-year-old Fabienne Leroy was seized from a supermarket car park east of Paris. Her body was found near a military base the day after she disappeared. She had been shot in the chest.

The bodies of Fourniret's other victims - all of whom he admitted to killing but denies raping - were found in the grounds of his chateau, on a beach or deep in the forest.

Fourniret was discovered when, in 2003, a 13-year-old girl he attempted to abduct managed to escape. She managed to bite her way through the ropes around her wrists and flee, having the presence of mind to make a note of his registration number.

JULIUS CAESER FOUND AT BOTTOM OF FRENCH RIVER

France is a strange place to find a man who liked to fight.

He was a military leader turned dictator who had such a complex about his receding hairline that he perfected the Roman comb-over and liked laurel crowns that disguised his bald patch.

In flattering posthumous portraits Julius Caesar was often portrayed as a dashing, healthy-haired, divine being. But now a realistic marble bust believed to be the oldest representation taken during his lifetime has been discovered at the bottom of the river Rhône in France.

The life-sized bust, which has thrilled French archaeologists, shows a man in his fifties with the receding hair said to have given him a complex after taunts from his battlefield enemies.

He also has wrinkles and lines that reflect the war-hardened life of the man who conquered Gaul and whose quest for power was largely responsible for turning the Roman republic into a dictatorship that would later become an empire.

The riddle that remains is why the bust ended up at the bottom of the river in the town dubbed "Little Rome in Gaul".

And they say there are no real men in France.

CHINESE ANTI-FRENCH BOYCOTT FALLS FLAT

It looks like China's protests are as crappy as the products they export.

They came. They expressed patriotic fervor. Then they shopped.

On Thursday, the first day of a planned boycott against Carrefour, a French retail chain here, there were a few low-key protests around the country, but many Carrefour outlets did a healthy business in peanut oil, petit fours and family packs of litchi juice.