FOR THE OBAMA SUPPORTER: O'TOOLS

A gift from Future News Blog:

Making the Switch from O-Pod to O’Tool just got easier!

Are You A Barack Obama Supporter?

Is the Obama Kool-aid not enough for you anymore? Is just being an O-Pod who mindlessly feels the glory of the “One” not as fulfilling as it once was? Do you feel left out now that your friends and fellow Obama Supporters are finding it so easy to be cruel? It’s time to shed the Pod and be a Tool!

You Deserve O’Tool’s Non-Humanistic Kool-Ale!



Available in Delusional Draft and Angry Amber

Now you’ll be able to chuck your personal ethics, kindness, and humanity to the curb, making it easy to join in with the mean, angry mob of vile and hate.

In no time at all, you’ll be able to hurl wicked insults at decent women, call anyone who doesn’t agree with you a racist, threaten a Peace Rally out of existence, even break storefront windows and assemble molotov cocktails–and you’ll do it all with a magically inauthentic air of superiority! It’s great to be a Tool!

Just let go of your Objective Mind and Inductive Reasoning! With O’Tool’s secret Arugula Extract, your Subjective Mind will be free to follow the O’s rabid horde.

So say goodbye to your old self…
… and say hello to the tool inside you! The O’Tool!