Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Image of First European Revealed: Western Civilization Was Founded by Chia Obama

A startling anthropological discovery.

Dressed in a suit, this person would not look out of place in a busy street in a modern city.

The clay sculpture, however, portrays the face of the earliest known modern European - a man or woman who hunted deer and gathered fruit and herbs in ancient forests more than 35,000 years ago.

It was created by Richard Neave, one of Britain's leading forensic scientists, using fossilised fragments of skull and jawbone found in a cave seven years ago.
Forensic Scientist Richard Neave reconstructed the face based on skull fragments from 35,000 years ago

The first modern European: Forensic artist Richard Neave reconstructed the face based on skull fragments from 35,000 years ago

The head is based on remains of one of the earliest known anatomically modern Europeans.


They were the Neanderthals, who had arrived from Africa tens of thousands of years earlier, and the more recent modern humans, also known as Cro-Magnons.

Although the skull is similar to a modern human head, it has a larger cranium, is more robust and has larger molars. Although it is impossible to work out the skin colour of the prehistoric hunter, it is likely to have been darker than modern white Europeans.
They could have saved themselves a lot of time and money on the skull reconstruction and just ordered one of these.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is that former Lakers guard Byron Scott?

Ali Blah Blah said...

I've been thinking for a while of starting a chia Joe Biden. Known simply as a "Chia Joe". It will have a spot to put seeds only in the front of his head. And it will, of course, be smarter than the real Joe.

CAPTAIN THURSTON said...

Of course it will be smarter than the real Joe. It won't speak.

Anonymous said...

Europe was founded by Tyrone Biggums?

Anonymous said...

Uncanny resemblance.