Random Nothingness

After reading about Weiner's wiener all weekend, we need a serious refocusing of the important. 

For the past 12 days I've been in the hospital with my dad and on a steady diet of Fox News.  And by that, I mean that for almost exactly 288 hours Fox News has been on the tube.  I have occupied myself with time consuming tasks like guessing the average weight of the behemoths that have been tending to my father and also with reading the biographies of the "bimbos" of Fox News.  For instance, like the luscious, but obviously stupid, Jenna Lee and her dumb blonde gal pal Sandra Smith:

Both are NCAA Division I athletes and Jenna earned a Masters of Science in Journalism from Columbia.  Sandra holds a record in distance running at LSU and after graduating managed a hedge fund in Chicago.  Dunces, I'm telling ya!

And then there is Jamie Colby.  All she does is talk about the benefits of homeopathic goiter treatments with Dr. Rosenfeld, right?  Yeah, she's an idiot.  An idiot that attended the University of Miami International School of Business at age 14, graduating with a Juris Doctorate from U of M at age 22.

Other Fox bimbos with law degrees include Shannon Bream, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Megan Kelly and Lis Wiehl.  Yeah yeah, I know, a piece of paper doesn't make a woman.  But a set of shaking hips just might. . .

Molly Line displaying her journalism skills in college:




That is all.

America is Obama Rich

Life is good during the reign of eco-warrior Barack Obama.  Limousine liberals...

Limousines, the very symbol of wealth and excess, are usually the domain of corporate executives and the rich. But the number of limos owned by Uncle Sam increased by 73 percent during the first two years of the Obama administration, according to an analysis of records by iWatch News.

Most of the increase was recorded in Hillary Clinton’s State Department.

"Youths"?

The media is calling them "youths".  But they look to me like black people.

MIAMI 'WAR ZONE' DURING URBAN WEEKEND...

Rib Fest At Rochester beach turns rowdy...

Fights break out at Carson Beach


Shades of Ali vs. Frazier


Shades of Freaknik...

Dogged

Hot?  No.  Dog?  Yes.  Nearly totally ignored by the mainstream media?  Absolutely!

Iowahawk sums it all up quite nicely.  And follow Ace of Spades for the latest technological advancements in logical destruction of lies, memes and misdirections.

Remember people:  These are our elected representatives.  Sleep well at night with that in mind.

As You Get Older...

remember

Memories

Ali, did your Evel Knievel look like this?

Mine did.

Taxpayer Money Being Used to Determine if Online Dating Services are Racist

Somewhere, some chucklehead has a high-paying job he shouldn't have.  Look at these unbelievable examples of waste from "The National Science Foundation".  From Tom Coburn, Senator from Oklahoma.

Examples of the more than $3 billion in waste and duplication outlined in the report include:

• $80,000 study on why the same teams always dominate March Madness;

• $315,000 study suggesting playing FarmVille on Facebook helps adults develop and maintain relationships;

• $1 million for an analysis of how quickly parents respond to trendy baby names;

• $50,000 to produce and publicize amateur songs about science, including a rap called “Money 4 Drugz,” and a misleading song titled “Biogas is a Gas, Gas, Gas”;

• $2 million to figure out that people who often post pictures on the internet from the same location at the same time are usually friends; and

• $581,000 on whether online dating site users are racist.

And talk about waste.  Look at the atrium at the National Science Foundation

Sarah Palin as a Candidate Would be a Huge Mistake

I'm not knocking the lady, but Sarah Palin as the GOP candidate for President would me a major mistake.  All it will do is re-energize what is a dead Obama base and apathetic media, and reconstitute the 2008 election, which, the GOP lost.  Not to mention, there are far more qualified candidates.  Just my opinion.  But keep in mind, I'm right 98% of the time.

Gimmee a T for Texas

In honor of a rumored Rick Perry candidacy, I post this. I don't know all that much about the guy yet so I'm not saying he's the one but good God the republican field blows thick meaty chunks thus far it can't hurt, people. What I've seen of him I like. Jump in, Texan.

Anyway, enjoy some Skynyrd. You may want to get a coffee and put your tappin' foot up on your desk for this one. You'll wanna get laid back.

Any don't you dare blink or you'll miss Captain Thurston at 1:01 making the most of his summer trip to the UK Aug' 76. Rock on Cap'n!

Separated At Birth?

Debbie, we're not gonna take it.  No, we ain't gonna take it.

My apologies in advance to Mr. Dee Snider of Twisted Sister.

China used prisoners to...What?...Oh hell, just read...

Comments?

As a prisoner at the Jixi labour camp, Liu Dali would slog through tough days breaking rocks and digging trenches in the open cast coalmines of north-east China. By night, he would slay demons, battle goblins and cast spells.

Liu says he was one of scores of prisoners forced to play online games to build up credits that prison guards would then trade for real money. The 54-year-old, a former prison guard who was jailed for three years in 2004 for "illegally petitioning" the central government about corruption in his hometown, reckons the operation was even more lucrative than the physical labour that prisoners were also forced to do.

"Prison bosses made more money forcing inmates to play games than they do forcing people to do manual labour," Liu told the Guardian. "There were 300 prisoners forced to play games. We worked 12-hour shifts in the camp. I heard them say they could earn 5,000-6,000rmb [£470-570] a day. We didn't see any of the money. The computers were never turned off."

Memories from his detention at Jixi re-education-through-labour camp in Heilongjiang province from 2004 still haunt Liu. As well as backbreaking mining toil, he carved chopsticks and toothpicks out of planks of wood until his hands were raw and assembled car seat covers that the prison exported to South Korea and Japan. He was also made to memorise communist literature to pay off his debt to society.

But it was the forced online gaming that was the most surreal part of his imprisonment. The hard slog may have been virtual, but the punishment for falling behind was real.

"If I couldn't complete my work quota, they would punish me physically. They would make me stand with my hands raised in the air and after I returned to my dormitory they would beat me with plastic pipes. We kept playing until we could barely see things," he said.

Read the rest

British Press Having a Field Day with the Obamas

Chances of ever seeing this kind of mockery from the mainstream American media?  Zero!

Michelle Obama - A National Embarrassment

Looks like Buckwheat, grabs her crotch like Michael Jackson.

Tee Hee.

Al Gore's Grades

And he wants to be our climate savior?

In his commencement speech at Hamilton College on Sunday, former Vice President Al Gore told the graduates that global warming is “the most serious challenge our civilization has ever faced.” But as an undergraduate at Harvard University in the late 1960s, Gore--one of the most prominent spokesmen on climate change today--earned a “D” in Natural Sciences.

Gore’s transcript documents that during his sophomore year at Harvard he earned a "D" in Natural Sciences 6 (Man’s Place in Nature). Also, as a senior at Harvard, he earned a C-plus in Natural Sciences 118.

Obama Signs Wrong Date in Westminster Abbey Book

The man is three years behind.  Is there any wonder we're so screwed?

A message from US President Barack Obama and his wife, first lady Michelle Obama, apparently signed by the President with the wrong date of 2008 in the distinguished visitors’ book during a tour of Westminster Abbey, in central London, as part of his state visit to the United Kingdom, Tuesday May 24, 2011.

I know Velveeta.  I said the same thing when I saw it.



Clouds Should Not Be Green

I was going to walk to lunch.  Screw that!

China Draws Line in the Sand

Not much was reported about this yesterday.  If I'm understanding this correctly, this is the most significant story of the year.

In the wake of the US raid in Abbottabad that killed Osama bin Laden, China has “warned in unequivocal terms that any attack on Pakistan would be construed as an attack on China”, a media report claimed today.

The warning was formally conveyed by the Chinese foreign minister at last week's China-US strategic dialogue and economic talks in Washington, The News daily quoted diplomatic sources as saying. China also advised the USa to “respect Pakistan's sovereignty and solidarity”, the report said.

Yet we're still giving Pakistan money. 

Why would China take this stance?

From June 14, 2010.

U.S. military officials and geologists have discovered mineral deposits in Afghanistan potentially worth over $908 billion, the Pentagon confirmed Monday.

Vast supplies of minerals such as iron, copper and gold, all with worldwide technological applications.

Meanwhile...

Indian intelligence agencies now have credible evidence of their own that several hundred of the Chinese working in Pakistan-occupied Kashmir are People's Liberation Army engineers. They are in the process of verifying if these Chinese military engineers are engaged in some sort of military construction like bunkers.

The startling confirmation that hundreds of Chinese military engineers are in PoK has come against the stout official denial by China that its military was not present on the Pakistan side of Kashmir. In the past, US intelligence has told India about Chinese military presence in PoK.

Surprise! - Another Mob of Black People Wrecking a Business

I could post a different video like this every day. If I wanted to. Hope and change run amok!

Something tells me these folks don't subscribe to "The Weekender".

Teens Riot In Manhattan Businesses: MyFoxNY.com

Tornado Destroys Midwest Town? - The Obamas are on it!

In Joplin. Missouri, it's like a scene from World War II.

Meanwhile...in Ireland...the Obamas drink their power juice, readying for the rescue.

Obama's Limo Gets Stuck in Ireland

Welcome to our world Ireland.  He high-centered America as well.

US President Barack Obama's heavily armoured Cadillac, nicknamed "The Beast", became stuck on a ramp at the US embassy in Dublin, RTE state radio reported Monday.

The first cars in the presidential motorcade emerged up the ramp from the car park beneath the complex in Ballsbridge and passed through the gates without incident, but The Beast quickly ran into trouble and got beached.

"The Beast was coming along and suddenly there was a loud kind of bang, metal-on-metal, grinding, crunching noise and the car was stuck," an RTE reporter said.

RTE said Obama and his wife Michelle stayed in the car while security officials and police officers went running over to the stranded vehicle.

Separated at Birth?

Or, if you like...



Ron Wood plastered

Hey Capt how did this one evade us? Dude is GONE!



I love this stuff when it's not me.

Irresistible

"...a sheep farmer and his wife heard a curious bleating sound from one of the farm’s pastures"

How many times does a story start like that and it turns out well?



Baaa-aa-aa-aad to the bone


Sweedish dudes must be crazy. It's not like they're camels. Now THAT'S a beautiful animal.

A Prayer for the Folks in Joplin, Missouri

I have been to Joplin, Missouri many times.  Mickey Mantle began his baseball career there.  It is a good size town.  And it has been virtually destroyed by a tornado.  Unbelievable.  These are bad times.  I ask that you say a prayer for these people. 

beatdown - Ukrainian Parliamentary Procedure

They do things just a little bit different there.

Photo: REUTERS/Tatyana Bondarenko Vice speaker of the Ukrainian parliament, Adam Martynyuk, on the right, throttles deputy Oleg Lyashko during a session in the chamber of the Ukrainian parliament in Kiev on Wednesday, May 18, 2011. According to reports, Lyashko had just asked Martynyuk to let him make a speech, which Martinyuk refused to do on procedural grounds. Lyashko then apparently called his interlocutor a Pharisee, at which point it was on. Martynyuk's impassive, heartbeat-at-60 professionalism is to be admired. Vulcan nerve pinch and ninja movie pressure point manueover? Just imagine the world of hurt Lyashko would have been in if Martynyuk had three hands.

KGB trained no doubt. The guy doing the choking doesn't even drop his pen.

And here's some video of the beatdown...

This Dog is Not an Obama Supporter

The New Obama T-Shirts are in

Flying off the shelves...

Who Has Obama's Ear Concerning Israel?

This crazy bitch does.

Samantha Power of the Kennedy school and a Obama advisor calls for a military invasion of Israel to create a palestinan state.

West Using Weather Machine to Create Drought in Iran

So says Mahmoud.

Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad says that Western countries are plotting to generate drought in some areas of the world, including Iran.

“According to reports about climate, whose authenticity has been verified, the European countries have used certain equipment to discharge clouds and prevent rain-bearing clouds from reaching regional countries such as Iran,” President Ahmadinejad said on Thursday.

Ahmadinejad said the matter would be pursued by Iran's legal authorities, IRNA reported.

He's all grown up now

And still waiting for his first date...

h/t IOTW

The Weekender

I thought it was just me that was seriously annoyed by that New York Times "Weekender" commercial.  Ali's comment, however, led me to do some research.  I'm far from alone.  Here's the video at issue:

And here's some comment from Youtube about the video:

typical liberal douche's. Gay black guy, bald asshole with thick rimmed glasses, token asian, messy haired rich trust fund hipster, rail thin hipster girl with bangs...


So according to this ad, you need to be "fluent in three sections" to have the self confidence to carry on a conversation with others.



I think I've just come up with a new euphamism for gay. "Don't waste your time hitting on the hot new guy in accounting, Sarah. He's fluent in three sections."
 

I wonder if I could beat that smug prick in the black turtleneck to death with the Sunday edition? "Who's fluent now, motherfucker?!?!"

And here's a parody of one of those "weekender" commercials:

It's funny because we know these people. We suffered through their pomp and pretense our entire lives.  I used to egg them on, or debate with them.  Now I just fart and walk away.

Gas Station Named After Obama

It figures. Judging by the price sign, it looks like they're already running out of gas.

A gas station on Columbia's North Main Street has been renamed and redecorated after President Obama.

Two gas stations sit at the corner of Columbia's North Main Street and Prescott Road, the El Cheapo and another station with a new name -- Obama.

"I see more people come in excited with the name," said owner Sam Alhanik, who got the idea from a friend who created an Obama Gas Station in Michigan.

Alhanik has only owned this station for two months. Although born in Yemen, he says he supports America's president. "It's the first president of black people," he said. "It's our president. We like him."

This must be some area of town.  On one corner you have El Cheapo, and on the other corner you have Obama.

Slow Your Roll Pooty Poot: Russian Troops Fed Dog Food

I like to remind folks that the Russian military still sucks and that it is still a nation where corruption permeates every level.  Don't get me wrong, Russia is still dangerous, but it's still Russia.

Russian Interior Ministry troops were fed dog food earlier this year to save money, a former officer in the ministry said on Thursday.

A rare whistleblower in Russia's expansive security forces, ex-Major Igor Matveyev said officers tried to cover up the scandal and other alleged wrongdoing at the Interior Ministry troops base where he served in the far east city of Vladivostok.

"It's embarrassing to say but soldiers here were fed dog food. It was fed to them as stew," Matveyev said in an interview with Reuters, adding that dog food labels were covered up with labels reading premium quality beef.

When Emo Hipsters are Cut Off by their Parents

I bet he has one of those New York Times "Weekender" subscriptions.  What a turtleneck wearing douche.

The Hope and Change Sticky Note Campaign

A "gas-roots" movement...

Purchase a pad of large sticky notes. Write on each one, "How's that Hope & Change working out for you?" Every time you stop to fill your vehicle with gas, place your sticky note somewhere on the pump before you drive away. DO NOT be destructive in ANY way! Place your sticky note somewhere, so as not to impede the next customer's ability to read the pump's digital readout.

After placing your sticky note, please consider taking a digital picture, then uploading it to our wall. Please tell us in which city and state the picture was taken. This is meant to be a "quiet" protest by our silent majority of Americans, to be served upon this administration!! Thank you all for your support!

Fonda: "Obama is a Fu**ing Traitor"

I agree.  Although I'm sure it's for different reasons.

Peter Fonda launched a four-letter attack on US President Barack Obama at the Cannes film festival on Wednesday, calling him a traitor over the handling of the aftermath of the Gulf oil spill.

The star of the 1969 road movie "Easy Rider" was in Cannes for the premiere of "The Big Fix" by Rebecca and Josh Tickell, the only feature documentary in the official selection at the Cannes film festival this year.

Fonda -- a keen environmentalist and co-producer of the film which centres on the explosion of the BP oil rig Deepwater Horizon, the ensuing spill and its consequences -- accused Washington of trying to gag reporting on the issue.

"I sent an email to President Obama saying, 'You are a f(expletive) traitor,' using those words... 'You're a traitor, you allowed foreign boots on our soil telling our military -- in this case the coastguard -- what they can and could not do, and telling us, the citizens of the United States, what we could or could not do'.

World War III is Near

Heck, when people look back 50 years from now, they'll probably say it began a couple of years ago.

Take a look at just a few of the headlines from the last two days:

Gamers Target U.S. Troops in Chinese Military ‘Shooter’

Pakistan, China premiers meet amid tension with US

Report: Iran Building Missile Bases in Venezuela

Soon, You Won't Be Able to Afford to See

New federally mandated light bulbs will cost $50 each.  Edison shrugged.

Two leading makers of lighting products are showcasing LED bulbs that are bright enough to replace energy-guzzling 100-watt light bulbs set to disappear from stores in January.

Their demonstrations at the LightFair trade show in Philadelphia this week mean that brighter LED bulbs will likely go on sale next year, but after a government ban takes effect.

The new bulbs will also be expensive — about $50 each — so the development may not prevent consumers from hoarding traditional bulbs.

Never Tell A Lie

Yes indeed, she's back.  And more ridiculously uninformed than ever.

 I pity the fool that don't erase their mistakes with my hairdo.

Brenda Speaks, a Ward 4 ANC commissioner, actually urged blocking construction of the planned store in her ward at Georgia and Missouri avenues NW partly because of that risk. Addressing a small, anti-Walmart rally at City Hall on Monday, Speaks said young people would get criminal records when they couldn’t resist the temptation to steal.

So yeah, it's like Walmarts fault that inner city kids steal because you know, they like put stuff right out there on the shelves in the wide open where it can be stolen.

Unbelievable!

Al Qaeda Smuggled Across Mexican Border

And Obama jokes about building a moat on the border.  The asshat thinks it's funny, the border situation.

Texas Department of Public Safety chief Steve McCraw testified before lawmakers in Washington on Wednesday.

He says the majority of people from terrorist sponsored countries are getting into the U.S. along the Texas border.

He pointed to Ahmed Muhammad Dhakane as one of those terrorists.

He asked for asylum at an international crossing in Brownsville in 2008. Halfway through the request, Federal Bureau of Investigation Agents took a closer look at him. They say he was an Al Qaeda terrorist and human smuggler. Dhakane admits to smuggling seven members of Al Qaeda into the U.S.

This is not an isolated incident.  Here are just a few previous instances of Al Qaeda at our border:

2005- Al-Qaida Operative Nabbed Near Mexican Border

2009 - Al Qaeda eyes bio attack from Mexico

2010 - Feds Issue Terror Watch for the Texas/Mexico Border

WTF is so funny chuckles?

For Captain T And Ali

Grand Slam

Denny's has never been one of my favorite restaurants, however I am willing to re-evaluate them based on the following display of total bacon awesomeness!

Allah is going to be very unhappy about this.

Westerly

The view across the scrubby hills of West Texas is indescribably endless. I look down on the crackled spider's web of dirt roads scratched into the Earth and the vast expanse of nothingness, a never ending canvass of dusty browns and muddled greens. Occasionally, the bright tin roof of an isolated home glints up at me and I wonder who is down there and what are they doing in this empty wasteland?




I see a patchwork of oil wells below, so I suppose that is part of an answer, but just how much work is involved in maintaining the working joints and slow, lazy, trundling bob of an oil pump? Surely there must be more to this spartan place.

But maybe there isn't. Maybe they are just there, subsisting in an unforgivable and little changing place with no eye for a larger life. Simple. Simplistic living that honors a long observed value system of family, religion and being one with the land. Maybe the Indians had it right in their singular reverence for the bounty of nourishment harvested from Mother Earth. They had it right and modern man, some modern men, have forgotten that.





Those survivors below have no concept of a man seven miles above them, who is thinking about them, who is admiring them as he travels to a much different place, an obverse of what is below. A place of fast-paced consumption and decadence where every whimsy and whim can be fulfilled. When I think of that, I realize that they below are the blessed ones. They are the true lifeblood, pure and untouched, and I envy them.

Wrong Turn At Albuquerque

Is this the way to Las Vegas?

Hijinks ahead, will report soon.

Osama's Porno Stash

Oh, this is just fantastic!  Better than any other intel they could have got. 

A stash of pornography was found in the hideout of Osama bin Laden by the U.S. commandos who killed him, current and former U.S. officials said on Friday.

The pornography recovered in bin Laden's compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan, consists of modern, electronically recorded video and is fairly extensive, according to the officials, who discussed the discovery with Reuters on condition of anonymity.

Hey Osama...
 

Meanwhile...In Greenville, Mississippi

The narration is the best part.

Walmart's Rise to Dominance

This is interesting?  Frightening?

Walmart started slow in 1962 and then spread like wildfire in the southeast, starting in 1970, and then made its way towards the west coast. Sam's Club starts to sprout up in the 1980s with bursts up to present.

Check out this time lapse video.

http://projects.flowingdata.com/walmart/

The Navy Seals Had Help Killing Osama

G.I. BO...

Feeling Like A Woman

I am a fan of Shania Twain. And as a gun-toting, beer-drinking, Jager-swilling, set the yard on fire and pass out in the flowerbed at 3 a.m. kinda guy, I am not afraid to admit it. I hear you asking why and let me assure you that my appreciation of her is well-reasoned.

Because, I mean damn, just look at her!

Hi Burnt Toast, I love you!

More importantly of course is her talent and success in the crossover country music scene.  She is by far one of the most successful and well-liked female performers to come along in many years.  Also, she has lived a relatively clean life and by some ungodly miracle (damn you ungod!) has managed to remain clothed as well.  And for a long time, she was married to a successful music producer and had a child with him.  Sounds like the life of Riley, doesn't it?

Yeah, it was all good until her hubby started humping Shania's best friend, so Shania did what any smart, funny, intelligent, and worldly woman would do: she married the husband of the woman who was cheating with her husband.

Wait!  What???

And The Irony Tinkles On

What are the chances that a slimy loser donning a cheap rubber mask and wig and caught making audio recordings of women urniating in public bathrooms would be named Hardman?

Say it ain't so Betty Jo.  But it is.

And Speaking Of Irony

Pasty-faced, gutless, gold medal-winning molester Julian Assange just can't keep his thin-lipped trap shut.  In an inteview with for a Russian television station, he proclaimed that Facebook is “the most appalling spying machine that has ever been invented."

Although it is very difficult to argue against his premise, this does not do anything to change the fact that he is a wormy little bastard and needs the shit kicked out of him by a roving transexual biker gang.  That would be some sweet justice.

Now Just A Damn Minute!

I thought the NAACP buried this word years ago?





And apparently, these two mental giants are not amused.

Separated At Birth?

Yeah, and they want us to believe that this guy is Osama's son?  Riiiiiiiiiight!

And in a bulge of ironic fate, nobody cares what Frank Zappa has to say anymore and no one cares what you have to say either Omar.  And by the way putz, where was the fair trial for the thousands of poeple who were burned, dismembered, mutilated or ground to death as the twin towers collapsed?  Or the ones who leaped into an infinite singularity from a hundred floors up when all hope was lost?  Go back to your meaningless anonymity schizo-boy.

The three remaining fans of Frank Zappa will find a video below the fold.

Danger Will Robinson

Well damn the double post! Captain beat me to the punch by about three seconds.

In that case, hey look!!  It's a cat wearing a dog out.



Click the link below if you want to read my drivel.


Do not trust your government!

Obama's new Amber Alert Czar. . . .

From CBSLocal NYC:

Presidential and local emergency messages as well as Amber Alerts would appear on cell phones equipped with special chips and software.

Oh hell no!  First, it's tax-by-the-mile and car tracking (contradict much Obama?) then cell phone tracking, then your internet searches and NOW, we are going to have government chipsets imbedded in our phones????  WTF???

C'mon Texas, what are you waiting for??  It's time to seal the border and tell our government where they can stick their government chipset!  I've never been one of these let's rise up with pitchforks kinda folk but every step closer to this totalitarian/utopian communal society were are marching towards is becoming less palatable by the minute.  My government can mind their own damned business and keep their hands off my stack, Jack!  Especially if it is being funneled to the great unwashed and useless dregs of our society who don't produce a f'n thing in their miserable, pathetic little lives.