Dear Julio, The Retarded Gumpbama Sycophant

Hey Julio, Sup? I saw you at the Obama Town Hall meeting. Man, you look like a spazz. What's up with all that awkward arm movement and praising God for Obama's time and stuff? You retarded? Anyway, I heard your beef (tee hee!) about working at McDonalds for four years and not getting any benefits. Four years and what, you still flipping burgers? Dude, anyone with an ounce of work ethic could have climbed the ladder to Corporate by now. There's where you will find a very good benefits package. You see, a company like McDonalds (i.e. successful American global job machine) isn't going to give benefits to the every day cook staff if they are going to come and go like the wind. But you, sir, have been there four years! Face it; you are probably a very lazy, incompetent, annoying, loafing and untrustworthy employee. Be happy Ronald McDonald himself hasn't beaten you to a pulp by now.

Should you wake up one day and decide you can actually achieve anything in life; here is a list of McDonald’s benefits for the big boys in the corporate office.


The following information is highlights of McDonald's benefits for Staff (e.g., home office, division or region office) employees located in the United States. Highlights of McDonald's Corporation benefits for U.S. Restaurant Management and Crew employees can be found on the USA Careers site.


Your Health and Protection - our health and insurance benefits
- Medical
- Vision supplement plan
- Dental
- Flexible spending accounts
- Short and long term disability
- Employee and dependent life insurance
- Accidental death & dismemberment (AD&D)
- Travel and business travel accident insurance

Your Pay and Rewards - our compensation, reward and recognition programs
- Base pay
- Incentive pay
- Company car program
- Recognition programs

Investing in Your Future - our savings, investment and financial management programs
- Profit Sharing and Savings Plan (includes our 401(k) feature)
- MCDirect Shares
- Mc$ave
- Credit union
- Financial planning services

Helping Balance Your Work and Life - our work/life benefits
- Vacation
- Holidays
- Anniversary Splash
- Sabbatical program
- Short Fridays
- Leave of absence
- Alternative Work Approach
- Adoption assistance
- Child care discount
- Educational assistance
- Matching gifts program
- Employee Resource Connection
- Auto and home insurance program
- International Fitness Club Network
- BeyondWork Internet discount program
- Disney discounts

Hope this helps, moron.

Your pal,

Ali.